Night Terrors:  Healing Rain
by bbybear85
Summary: Sequel to Night Terrors.  1xR  Relena recovers from a violent rape.  WARNING: CHAPTER 9 IS DARK.  Chapter 18 is dark.  I feel bad, but...you'll see.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

A/N: A few months ago, I wrote the story "Night Terrors" about Relena struggling with recovering from a violent rape. Looking back, I feel that I did not give the work nearly the time or effort it deserved. Partly I had less experience then than I have now, but I also confess the piece is very emotional, and very close to home. As such, I didn't really allow myself the necessary reflection to see the product through correctly.

I've decided to remedy the issues I had reading over the original with two steps. One, I went through and smoothed out the edges on the story. If you've never read it, please read it before this one. It's less that 7,000 words and it is the beginning. If you have, a refresher may find it a smoother read than you experienced, last time. Two, I'm doing the sequel. Some people hinted at a desire to hear more, and others flat out begged. I appreciate the interest, and I, too, feel the story needed to be closed out. Yes. I, the author, thought it lacked a lot, and it left me hanging. So I'm allowing the characters to bring me back, and I'm breathing deeply as I relive Relena's flashbacks with a heavy heart.

This is very intimate, and some things you read here are true. The names and faces, of course, have been changed to characters you are much more familiar with. My only hope is that I can put these experiences, these events and feelings, eloquently, and you can fully understand the hearts that lived them.

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><p>In the darkness, her eyes focused thoughtlessly on the dust that danced to a serenade of silence in the spotlight of the moon. At her back, she could feel a chest rising and falling with a long, strong rhythm.<p>

Nearly four months prior he'd come to bed with her to chase away the nightmares. At first, it was completely plutonic. He had stood at her bed to protect her from the night, but he found that only his touch could ward off the dreams that tormented her. Reluctantly, he had submitted to her needs, keeping her in his arms as she slept. Now she was addicted to him, but she was beginning to think the dependency was mutual.

She shifted as slightly as possible, angling her very pregnant body to see the clock. It was after midnight, and she doubted she would get any sleep.

The man behind her opened his eyes when she moved. It wasn't her first bout of insomnia. He was used to it, by now.

He hesitated to speak his mind, but this was as good a time as any. "Who was he?"

Relena froze, her head just beginning to nestle back into the down pillow below. The question was not ambiguous to her. It was the one subject she'd always hoped he wouldn't breach. "I don't know," she whispered.

He was quiet.

"Why?" She asked in a playful voice, making light of the tension. "Planning something?"

When she glanced back at him, the look in his eyes was frighteningly stern.

"Heero, you said you wouldn't kill anymore. You promised."

"I said I didn't have to."

"And that makes it okay?"

He pressed no further on the subject, with her. He only waited. She would open up to his curiosity with timing and grace.

"Sometimes I wish I did," she confessed, as she turned away, again. "I wonder; if I had known him, if it had been less—violent—would I deal with it better?"

Time stretched between them as he mulled over her thoughts.

"No," he said firmly.

Relena shifted onto her back to stare up at him. A question beyond words emanated from her soft blue eyes.

"If you had known him, you'd have to face him, again. If you turned him in, you'd face him in a courtroom. If you didn't, you'd cross paths, over and over. If you tried to cover it, pretend it was consensual, you'd have to juggle him into a 'family' life. It's better this way."

"I suppose," she acknowledged.

Her eyes wandered, adapting to the night, studying the shadows of the room. The intrinsic design of her wooden bedframe formed dips, valleys and hills of darkness in the cherry wood. Along the wall, the glow formed the silhouettes of the trees; their branches and leaves dancing in the soft evening breeze. The crystal blue moonlight shone in, over them, showering her pregnant abdomen in light.

Heero's hand rested on her belly, observing the shifting movements on the small life within.

The baby moved in a way that seemed to tickle Relena, bringing the mother to a soft laugh. "Must you always be such a night owl, Benjamin?"

Heero grinned, ever so slightly, looking at the activity under his hand. "Is he keeping you awake?"

She nestled her body closer to his, stealing his warmth. "No," she answered. "Not that you could help if he was."

"What is?"

She was quiet, again, presumably in deep thought. "I don't know," she answered softly. "I feel restless. I feel anxious."

He blinked, weighing her answer. Was she referring to excitement in regards to becoming a mother? Was she referring to nervous anxiety or fear?

"There's still so much to do," she clarified.

Heero gave a small, crooked grin she could not see. "The paint in his nursery is still drying. You can't do anything until tomorrow."

She sighed, pouting her lips. "Do you think I picked the right color scheme?"

"Do I really seem like the person to ask?"

She started laughing at her own silliness.

The sound of her laughter stirred something inside him. It always did. He'd seen and heard her laugh more times than he could count, but when he knew he'd intentionally _made_ her laugh, it gave him a warm and joyful feeling inside. He was so occupied with the sound and the glow on her face, he never noticed that his own body responded by squeezing her closer, yet.

"I think that you can put together an interior design better than anyone. You just won't tell anyone that."

"What would ever make you want to believe that?"

"You're the best at everything else, aren't you?"

"Not everything."

"Well," she commented. "Whether you are secretly hiding your ability to decorate a nursery or not, I'm truly grateful to have you by my side, Mr. Yuy."

She twisted, again, to look into his eyes. Her face was mere millimeters from his. Their breath mingled with every passing moment.

"Sally said something like that, too," he whispered, suddenly fighting an urge to look down at her soft lips.

"Mmm," she hummed. "Sally's just glad I'm finally sleeping through the night."

"But you're not."

"Then maybe we should trust my body and _give in _to the nesting instinct."

"Or maybe you should sleep."

"You don't have very many urges, do you?" When she said the words, something sultry flashed through her eyes, lacing her voice with suggestiveness.

"Tons," he answered, setting his face in stone.

Relena cocked an inquisitive eyebrow. "Do tell?"

He hesitated, before answering very dryly, "All urges can be suppressed through discipline."

She pursed her lips, pouting.

"Discipline yourself to sleep."

"What would I ever do without you?" She quipped, arching her back in a long, soothing stretch. Her spine crackled with the slow, deliberate movement, and her lips turned up in a slight smile as he moaned in satisfaction. Sighing, she wiggled her hips against his as she adjusted her position.

She slowly blinked, focusing back on the soldier beside her, who seemed to be a statue watching her rest.

He swallowed, his eyes intense and barely readable.

Her grin grew as she openly raked his body with her gaze, resting for too long on his lips as she came back up.

The flaring of his nostrils did not slip past her unnoticed, so she glanced suggestively at his soft lips, again.

His bearing cracked as his own stare fell to her mouth, fighting the urge to taste her sharp tongue. As Heero felt the desires course through him, she could hear his breathing grow heavier. He was fighting for control, and she was making it difficult.

"What would I do without you?" She asked in a frail voice as she allowed her face to become entirely serious.

"Hn."

She smiled, again. She pressed her soft hand on his arm, allowing her digits to absorb his warmth as she reached down to his palm, which rested over the baby. Her fingers interlaced themselves with his as she gently squeezed him. "When will you leave me, Heero?"

"I'm not leaving," he said solidly.

"Ever?"

He just glared at her, allowing his previous arousal to melt away into gentle offense.

"What if I tell you that I love you?" Her teeth were showing with mischief as she leaned close, over her shoulder, searching his dark blue eyes.

"I'm not leaving," he said, again.

Relena still questioned, deep inside, just how true his words were, but this moment wasn't about fearing tomorrow, so much as living today. "Do you promise?" She pressed.

"Hn."

She looked deeply into his eyes, again, shifting her focus nervously as she memorized his face. When her eyes fell back to his mouth, they flashed with demand.

Heero pulled his hand from hers, reaching up to cup her face as he met her searching orbs. "I'm not leaving," he repeated for the third time.

Relena's smile disappeared as her eyes begged him. "Goodnight, Heero?" She said softly.

His lips came down over hers, tasting her for the first time since they were fifteen. She was sweet and salty on his tongue. Her warmth and the comfort of touching her in such an intimate way seemed to awaken something inside him he'd tried hard to forget. Suddenly his body was fighting urges that he hadn't felt in months.

Thinking better of giving in, he pulled back from her. "Goodnight, Relena," he said, as he wrapped her back into a protective hold, unable to move or to face him.

"I love you," she whispered under her breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

A/N: Sappy, sappy. I know.

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><p>Heero had grown used to the anticipation of coming home to Relena each day. Granted, she was a tad unpredictable as far as her emotions, cravings and urges would go, but she was still the light of his life, at this point. She'd always been, really. Often times, he walked by himself for blocks until he reached her house, mulling over the strange feelings that came with his change in residence. It wasn't technically official, but it was the only place that made him feel like he belonged. He'd spent a few years in the town, before, between her seventeenth and twenty-first birthdays, but it was different this time. He was living in her manor. He was sleeping in her bed. They weren't lovers, but she was "home" to him.<p>

In his mind he felt out the memory of the night before, over and over again. He'd kissed her. But it was expected, cosidering. With the tension she'd created—the seductive atmosphere she'd built—he was being chaste. His chest was heavy with the thoughts. She made him desire her. He understood she wouldn't think herself beautiful now, and maybe he shouldn't, either, but he was as attracted to her as ever—if not more so. The child in her womb was nearly fully developed, and she had taken on a shape she would have few times in her life, but something about her made him warm.

He was proud when he laid eyes on her, in a way that perhaps only a father should be. He was contented just to watch her as she cooked, or cleaned, or simply read aloud. He'd stand nearby, observing as she spoke softly to her son, and he'd wonder if the baby really heard or understood her loving gestures. But it was all part of a new aspect of his life. He felt like he was a part of a family, now. He felt like he was hers, and she, his living joy, was his.

And it made him want to—smile. Often times he'd find himself doing just that. Smiling. He'd just suddenly notice himself glowing. Maybe it wasn't the goofy grin Duo would flaunt wherever he went, but for Heero the small contractions in his cheek were huge. This was the peace he'd always wanted. This was his family. His home. And he was truly happy.

Heero entered her house without announcing himself, taking in the fresh scent of cinnamon, apples and crust baking in the kitchen. And there it was, again—a smile. It was a small, crooked grin, but it came from deep inside. Something about registering that Relena was baking, again, made him want to smile.

Damn these moments of bliss.

When he saw Pagan exit the kitchen and start toward the main entrance, he ducked back behind his stoic frown. He greeted the house manager with a solid, silent nod. As the man responded in kind, their attention was captured by a loud clanging at the top of the stairwell.

Relena was working in the nursery by herself—exactly as Heero had told her not to do.

"She kicked you out?" He asked Pagan in a deep, dry voice.

The old man grinned humorously. "Hormones, sir," he answered, cocking an eyebrow.

"Hn," Heero grunted.

He placed his jacket on a hook near the door and began ascending the stairs, two at a time. He rounded the doorway of Benjamin's room, to find Relena, nine months pregnant, on her back, in the center of four unbalanced sides of a baby crib. The room was painted in green and blue with shapes of teddy bears and airplanes stenciled at random in pencil. Near the door, the rest of the furniture sat in their shipping boxes, waiting for the mechanically inept politician to get around to puzzling them together, as well. The only redeeming factor was that the nursery windows were opened, all the way, allowing for unfettered ventilation for Relena's health. He shook his head, silently watching her struggle with the nuts and bolts of the bed.

She was being rebellious, but there was that swelling of pride, again.

Suddenly, Relena sensed she was being watched. She turned to the entrance, jumping when she saw a man, and causing all four of the sides to collapse over her.

All at once, she threw up her arms, yelping, as he rushed in, catching three of the panels, so only one made impact with her forearms. There was a short moment of silence before she started laughing from the thrill of the start.

"I'm so sorry," she giggled, as he pulled the wood away from her body. "I just—you scared me."

"You aren't supposed to be working by yourself," he scolded her.

"I know," she huffed, as she pulled herself up, into a seated position.

Once he'd gathered the large pieces together, he brought them to the wall, by the window, and leaned them there to rest. He pulled the princess to her feet, checking her over for any visible wounds.

"I'm fine," she smiled. "I apologize. I just couldn't stand the idea of the nursery being left undone. It just—made my skin crawl. You know?"

He furrowed his brows as he looked in her eyes. "No. I've never had that sensation," he said in a sure voice.

"You wouldn't," she scoffed.

"I'm trying to protect you," he said dominantly.

"I know," she admitted. "I'm sorry." She dropped her head, pouted effortlessly.

After a few seconds of loaded silence, he wrapped her into a hug, secretly smelling the floral scent of her soft hair. "Relena?"

She looked up from his chest with wide eyes.

He found himself smiling, again, for her. "Are you doing the pictures in black?"

"Yes," she answered. "Silhouette style. There's a paint can by the window, but I knew you wouldn't let me do the painting." She sulked, again.

Heero practically rolled his eyes as he closed them. "You need a nap," he said. "Your eyes say you're tired, again."

"But—"

"No 'buts'," he answered, growing stern. When he looked into her eyes, she knew she was defeated.

Her smile was so kind and warm for him. He'd seen her give people so many different kinds of smiles, but when she gave him this look, he knew it was special. His eyes softened as he searched her. Finding acceptance, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. This kiss allowed her more maneuverability than the awkward one they'd shared the night before. Relena was able to wrap her arms around him and carefully, gently deepen the gesture. To see that she did not push him past his comfort level, Relena gently broke the intimate action, looking into his eyes for his reaction, and then sealing the choice with a final, soft peck on the lips.

Heero sighed, looking over her as he brushed her bangs from her face, again. "Get some rest. I'll handle the crib."

Relena bit her lip and nodded, quietly slipping out of the room to find rest in her own.

:::

Relena rubbed the sleep from her eyes. A glance at the clock showed she caught up on nearly four hours of missing sleep, and a deep breath gave her the assurance that her body was grateful for the rest. She hummed happily, as Benjamin gave her a strong kick for his own thanks.

Slowly she pulled her swollen, heavy body from the bed, catching her balance and making her way to the door. The house was dimmed by the evening, and silent as could be. Only the lightest drone of a masculine voice from the nursery hinted to Heero's whereabouts.

_Surely the crib is done, by now,_ she thought as she padded down the hallway.

Relena came into view, taking in the nursery she'd left in his capable hands only a few hours before. The crib was pieced together and made up with fresh linens and even the airplane themed mobile, hanging over where her son's head would lay. The dresser and changing table were also put up, placed in optimum places, and her rocking chair and ottoman were not only assembled, but occupied.

Quatre's cool blue eyes looked up at her from the moving seat, as she entered. He brushed his fingers through his wavy blond hair as he stood to greet the mother. Heero, who also seemed to know she was there, paid her no mind as he continued carefully filling in the decorative pictures on the walls in ebony paint.

Relena's face broke into a full smile as she looked at him with the most curious eyes. Granting Quatre only a silent nod, she approached Heero from behind, watching his careful fingers as he brought her dream to life.

"I was thinking you'd probably want to add some shelves," he commented to the approaching lady. "Probably white washed, high on the walls. Perhaps there and there," he said, pointing to some ideal spots.

Relena smiled, nodding at the suggestion. "And I thought you said you couldn't do interior design?"

"I never said I _couldn't_," he remarked. "Besides, I thought you wanted my opinion."

"Opinion accepted," she grinned.

Turning on her heel, she faced Quatre. "To what do I owe the pleasure, old friend?"

"Well," he said softly. "I seem to have some issues of state that need attending to _personally_, and I figured I'd go ahead and pay you a visit."

She nodded. "You will stay in town until the baby comes?"

"If you wish."

"That would be lovely, dear."

Quatre took her hands in his. "It is no problem. I'm always here to support you. You know that."

Relena's eyes clouded with emotion, heightened by her hormone levels. "I appreciate you," she whispered, blushing at the silliness of the statement.

He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Well, I couldn't resist when Heero said that you'd been baking."

Relena laughed, leading him to the door. "Heero, will you join us?" She called out.

"Negative," he answered. "I'm fine for now," he said in a softer tone, when he met her gaze.

Something loving passed between them before she broke eye contact.

Quatre smiled, nodding to no one in particular.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

Relena had engulfed herself in her work over the years, so it was predictable that the sitting room went untouched for months on end, but things had changed since Heero's return. She was forced to take time off. It was only a few hours a week, at first, but as she neared her due date, he'd taken her completely out of the political environment, so she could concentrate on her body's needs and preparing for the baby. She didn't accept his instructions, easily, but when she finally surrendered, she found the change to be a pleasure.

Therefore, it was no longer strange for her to be found on the sofa, nested in a warm fleece as a strong, young man served her boiling hot tea. Today's guests smiled warmly as the grateful princess accepted the precious china filled with the steaming, green tonic. Relena hummed softly as she let the aroma fill her soul. Together the politicians sat in silence, enjoying each other's company, alone, for several long minutes.

"I can't believe he's painting the nursery," Relena finally said in a soft voice.

Quatre chuckled.

"I don't know," she moaned. "I just keep thinking—when will he leave?"

The blond man looked at her, curiously.

"Oh, come on," she said, defending her concerns. "He always leaves."

The man looked thoughtfully at his cup, licking his bottom lip as he listened.

"Four years, Quatre. Last time he stayed for four years. And then one day, he was gone." She looked down at the glass in her lap, massaging the porcelain of the handled with her thumb. Her secret pain slipped out as barely a whisper. "Right when I needed him most."

Quatre's eyes were sad when he looked back up to her. She was sinking into herself, allowing herself do drown in the memories and anxieties of the strained relationship. "When you had that 'Jeremy' situation? You were twenty-one."

"Jeremy," she scoffed.

"Heero never trusted him."

"Heero _hated_ him."

"Did you love him?"

Relena sighed.

"I thought so. It was your first major relationship, after all."

"Only," she corrected.

"And it's the only thing I can imagine would start such a fight between you."

She set down the mug, remembering, with a glassy look in her eyes. "I'd hardly call it a 'fight'," she commented. "I mean, I yelled at him, but he never even responded."

"Mm," Quatre mumbled as he swallowed. "I wouldn't say that."

She looked up at him, questioning.

"He responded, alright."

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"He left. For three years."

Relena blinked. "You mean, he left because of _that_?"

Quatre nodded.

"But, I was just being emotional. I didn't mean—"

He shook his head. "As I understand it, you told him that you hated him and you never wanted to see him, again."

Her eyes widened, searching the floor as she sorted through the old memory. "Did I—?"

"Yeah."

"Oh—" She sighed, her warm fingertips came up to cover her opened lips.

Silence embraced them, again, for several moments before her questions started rising. "How did you know what I said?"

"Well," he said, setting down his own drink. "You know how he was impossible to find for a few months? Even the other pilots didn't know where he was?"

She nodded.

Quatre gave a guilty smile. "He was at my place."

She frowned at him.

"Yes. Even Heero licks his wounds, sometimes. And he actually talked about it at one point, too," he winced.

Relena's shoulders dropped, as she pulled the blanket up to hide behind. "He told you. That means—?"

Quatre moved himself next to the remorse ridden princess. "Yeah," he whispered, hugging her for comfort. "He was pretty hurt."

She whimpered, burying her face in his shoulder.

:::

"_Long night," the brunet man mumbled as he closed and locked the door behind Relena. _

_Relena turned and smiled up into his sky blue eyes. "Jeremy," she said, softly as she ran her hands gingerly over his shoulders, capturing him in a loving embrace._

_Jeremy's strong hands slacked around her waist, accepting her tiny frame. After a moment, he pulled away and went to the windows, slowly checking and locking each, before shutting the drapes and closing out the night sky._

_Relena's blush glowed in the dim lighting of her private office. "Jeremy," she whispered._

_He turned to face her with a poker worthy expression._

"_There's something I need to tell you."_

"_Anything," he answered._

"_I—I'm falling in love with you." She closed her eyes, hiding her trepidation._

_In response, he smiled, with a dark spark in his eyes. "Good," he answered, as he started toward her with his hands tucked behind his back. "That will make this so much more rewarding—Vice Foreign Minister Darlian."_

_Relena's eyes fluttered open to witness time slowing down. As Jeremy strode toward her, he brought both arms forward. He used his left to steady himself passively as his right cradled the butt of a pistol. He took aim at her._

_The twenty-one year old stumbled backward only a pace as she took her situation in. "Wh—why?"_

"_Ah, Sweetheart," he said, reminding her of their terms of endearment. "Isn't it obvious? It really doesn't matter at this point but—well, you deserve this. You're a loose lipped, conniving bitch, drawing people to silly conclusions that will never work. This world is so wrapped up in your precious trance—your Relena worship—that they don't even realize how foolish you really are." His grin grew positively evil as he lifted the gun, adjusting his aim. "But it doesn't matter, now. You've sold your soul—and now it's time for the devil to cash in on the deal."_

_Relena heard the distinct clicking of a pistol hammer coming to the ready as her eyes closed. He may think her a fool, and at this moment she felt like one, but even this numbing heartbreak would not force her to collapse in fear. _

"_I've met the devil," said another, deep voice. "He and I have an understanding that _she_ shall pass, untouched by his hand."_

"_Heero," she gasped, opening her eyes, again, to see him subduing her longtime boyfriend at gunpoint._

_The last thing she remembered was Jeremy's dark and stubborn sneer, before the night became a blur. The next thing was a warm hand guiding her into her sitting room, and setting her at the sofa, as she struggled to keep her feelings in check. _

_For several moments, she sat shivering, without tears as her head security officer wrapped a blanket over her shoulders to warm her. _

"_Relena?" The dark voice called softly, seeking a response. "Relena?"_

_Finally, her ocean blue eyes snapped to his dark Prussian blue pearls. He was before her on one knee, supported by the opposing knuckles as he searched her. "Heero."_

_He knew. He'd always known. Maybe he didn't have the evidence to capture the man, but he hated him. In his gut, he knew. _

_And she hadn't listened._

"_How can you be so calm?" She asked in a trembling voice as the emotions came to the surface._

_His face was perfectly unreadable. Only a hint of softness laced his eyes, but disappeared with her words._

"_He tried to _kill _me! My BOYFRIEND."_

_Heero swallowed, steeling himself._

_Relena laughed sadistically as tears finally broke over the rim of her eyes. "Of course you're calm. You're always calm."_

_He didn't respond._

"_I would at least expect you to be happy," she said, pushing past him to pace the room. "You have _every _right to gloat, after all."_

_Heero's head dropped, allowing his stern eyes to hide behind his messy hair, in his prone position. His stance was that of a dark angel. His face was etched in stone as she went on._

"_You _told _me, didn't you? You knew all along, didn't you?" She ranted._

_Relena came to a bookshelf by the window. She choked to hold back the sobs as she leaned over it, supported on both hands. She blinked to focus, noticing below a beautiful porcelain figurine of a shining black mare and its identical foal that Jeremy had given to her when they'd first started dating. In a rush of pure, distraught rage she lashed out, sending the piece flying into a wall across the room and leaving an ugly bruise on her hand in one swing. _

_Heero didn't flinch._

_When she turned back to face him, his stoicism seemed to only mock her fury more. "HOW can you be so CALM?" She screamed. _

_Desperate to get a reaction and without the ability to reason, she began pulling books off of the shelf, pelting them in his direction, one by one. Even when they hit him, he didn't move._

"_You're HORRIBLE!" She screeched. "You're positively the most heartless—emotionless—soulless person I know!"_

_Still he did not react. His muscles tensed with the accusation, but he showed only disciplined stillness._

"_I hate you, Heero Yuy. I HATE you!" She stormed out of the room, tripping up the stairs to lock herself away in her room. "I NEVER want to see you, again," she cried._

:::

"'Sticks and Stones'?"

"Maybe you should have stopped after the books."

"I'm horrible," she nearly cried as she hid under Quatre's arm, willing the memory away.

"Yeah," he smiled. "But we love you, anyway."

She chuckled under her breath, punching him playfully in the kidney.

Heero stood in the hall, out of sight, hands and clothes covered in black paint, as he listened. He rolled his head against the wall, closing his eyes as he absorbed to her regret.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

A/N: This is mostly about childbirth. Not too graphic, but if it grosses you out, skip it. ;-)

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><p>Pain.<p>

Sharp, tearing—shooting—pain.

She couldn't even tell where it was starting. It was too much. She was drowning in it.

Excruciating.

Her eyes flew opened, but her vision was still blurred from sleep. All she could see was the whirling of the dim colors of her bedroom, as she tried to make out her surroundings.

"Breathe."

Heero gave that command. His hand slipped into hers, squeezing her gently for assurance.

Had he come from over, by the window?

Why were the lights on? Low, but on.

"Breathe through it, Relena."

"I'm trying," she attempted to whimper, but the words were broken, drowning in the ocean of pain.

"Concentrate. Breathe out."

She shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"Do it."

She tried to sniff, but her lungs were filled to capacity with useless air. She had to push it out, steadily. Her entire body shook with the effort as she blew slowly, emptying her chest, and clearing the way for fresh oxygen.

When she gasped, he seemed to relax, using his free hand to rub her arm consolingly. "You can do this. Just breathe, Relena."

She looked into his eyes, the color of her face evening back out with every labored breath. His expression was soft, slightly worried, as he pulled her through. He felt like an anchor or an angel to guard her. His eyes told her that he would stay by her side. He would keep her safe.

She blinked, allowing a tear to escape, but Heero was faster than the rolling salt water. He caught it with his thumb, offering her the kindest smile she'd ever seen. She wanted to smart off about dying, since that's the only reason he would smile, but the pain still made it impossible to speak. She pressed her forehead to his, wishing the contraction to pass.

As suddenly as it started, her womb relaxed, leaving a dull ache in its wake. She tested her voice in the next sigh, searching for words. "You're awake?"

He nodded, silently, standing to his feet. There was a fresh pitcher of ice water on the night stand, no more than an hour or two old. He poured her a glass, handing it to her once she'd readjusted her body into a seated position.

"It's nearly four in the morning," she commented in an openly bewildered tone as she glanced from the clock to his book, at her feet.

"You've been in labor for hours. I couldn't sleep."

"You could feel them?"

"Your entire body contracting? Yes."

"I don't think I did."

"You did. You'd cry or whimper, but you tried to rest through them."

"Oh." She took a long sip of the cold water, allowing it to slip into her tired and upset stomach. "When do you think we should go in?"

Heero leaned against the wall, studying her before closing his eyes. "It's up to you. Your labor is strong and regular. I suspect you entered the early stages during the day and didn't notice. Likely, you're going to be running out of time, but you still may want to try and rest as long as you can."

"What if we wait too long?" She grimaced.

Heero's gaze darted to her, again, with a glisten of amusement. "I think I can handle it."

The politician wrinkled her nose in disapproval. "You would."

Relena closed her eyes, rubbing her hand in large circles over her tired neck muscles. "My whole body aches," she commented.

"Do you want a back rub?"

She smiled at him, unwilling to ask aloud.

Heero scoffed quietly, lifting himself from the wall, again. "Move forward," he commanded. He climbed behind her, settling himself with his legs propped on each side of her. She leaned forward, over her belly, to allow him plenty of working area, as she rested her arms on his knees. Her gentle moans and sighs encouraged him as he brought her back to a more comfortable state.

"Will you be there when I have the baby?"

"I won't leave you. Even if you ask me to."

Her body tensed under his fingers as another contraction overtook her. Heero's arms wrapped under hers, pulling her back, against his chest, so his lips were at her ears. Softly and steadily he whispered encouragement in her ears, reminding her to breathe and soothing her inherent panic.

"I owe you an apology," she whispered in a tired tone, once the wave had passed.

"Hn?"

"For what happened when—" Relena's voice wavered, unsure if she could say his name, especially at a time like this.

"Jeremy."

The sound of it burned in her ears. She nodded. "I was so upset, and I took it out on you. You didn't deserve that."

Heero grinned, where she couldn't see and pulled her back, against him, again. "I know," he cooed into her hair, idly closing his hands in hers.

:::

At the doctor's command, Relena gave one last push, breaking for air as her head hit the pillow behind her. Heero wiped the sweaty hair from her brown as she caught her breath. He kept looking at her, but his attention was completely on the doctors.

And then Relena noticed what she heard.

Nothing. No cries of freedom from her baby's first breath. There was not electric joy running through her veins at his voice.

The nurses whispered in hushed tones as the rushed the baby away from Relena's bed to a small exam table on the opposite side of the room. The Relena could see the panic, but the baby was out of sight for the nurses blocking her vision. She started to lift herself, driven by concern, but Heero firmly pressed her back down. His eyes assured her that she'd best wait. The nurses didn't need the distraction. Even the delivery doctor seemed to be still, waiting for a response from the child.

Relena was incredibly aware of her child's distance, along with the heavy pounding of her heart. Each second was an eternity, waiting for the first scream. Her mind ran through a thousand different possibilities that could prevent the breath; her heart begging her son not to die. She was sure there could be no greater torture on earth as Relena lay helplessly waiting for someone else to save her baby.

She turned to Heero, fighting the panic. "Go," she whispered, unsure if he would even comply.

Like a racehorse at the gate, his grip released her as he bolted across the room. He stood at the wall, his Prussian blue eyes studying every speedy movement of the nurses. His eyes did not move from Benjamin as the women toiled away, and Relena's did not move from Heero's face.

Suddenly, both the mother and her companion jumped at the weak, labored squeak the boy elicited. She reminded herself to lie still, until his second breath, which came out in a wail. Heero smiled, a true smiled, when her son kicked to life. His skin began to take on the expected flesh tones of his mother as the nurses wiped him clean. In moments Relena heard the words she'd never expected.

"Here you go," the nurse commented, handing the child to Heero. "Congratulations, Daddy."

Heero's eyes widened in slight surprise as he registered the comment, but Relena noted that he did not rebuke her. He simply offered her a gracious nod, and looked down over the boy's face. His cheeks were flushed in complaint to hunger, and his skin was swollen and healthy. The little boy tried to flail in protest, but his swaddling held him still. There was a shine in Heero's eyes Relena had never seen before, but something of it made her want to cherish this moment forever.

After a few long seconds of observing her handiwork, Heero made his way back to the mother. "Benjamin," he said, placing the seeking child against his mom's chest.

:::

"Hey, Buddy," the tall man called as he threw an arm around Heero's shoulder. "What'cha doing?"

Heero glared up at his violet eyed comrade in warning, before going back to his work. The fool's long, dark braid bounced with his movement as he hopped to his toes for a better look at the paperwork.

"What'cha got there?"

"I'm helping, Duo," Heero answered in a pained tone. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting with the lady and the baby."

"Good. They're over there," he pointed at the bed, where a very tired Relena was beaming up at them.

"'Ey. Is that a Birth Certificate? You should name him Benjamin _Yuy_."

Relena could see the pen freeze in Heero's hand. He shot her an unreadable look, and then turned his irritation on Duo, again. "It is a Birth Certificate _Application_, and it is not your concern."

"I'm just saying," he called, as he finally pulled away from Heero and made his way to the bed. "If you're gonna stick around this time, you might as well put your name down. She'll make a father out of you, yet!"

Relena blushed at the sound of her outrageous hopes being voiced in jest.

Heero seemed to sigh, continuing with the paperwork. As he reached a spot lower on the page, he stopped, again, staring at her long and hard. She was about to ask what was on his mind when he went back to work, not saying a word to her or anyone else in the room.

"So who are you naming the godfather?" Duo asked Relena in a whisper, as he pulled the baby close to him.

"Quatre," Heero answered firmly.

Quatre, who sat quietly at Relena's shoulder, smiled kindly.

Duo glanced back, making sure he wasn't joking, and then pouted at the mother. "But why?"

She smirked, unwilling to answer.

"Other than the fact that he acts his age, and is thus more responsible than you?" Heero answered, as though the first part was self-explanatory. "Because he protected the baby before your loud mouth even knew about him."

Relena looked away, still smiling, in spite of her exhaustion.

Duo slumped in protest, never letting his eyes leave the sleeping form in his arms. "He's beautiful, Lee. You did good."

"That he is," Quatre agreed, placing a hand on her arm.

She bore her teeth in a feeble attempt to be cordial as the drugs finally took her and she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaier: I do not own Gundam Wing**

"I don't get it," Relena whined. "Why does he smile for you? He _never_ smiles for me!"

Heero's gaze shot up to her from the six week old baby and his stern frown deepened slightly. "You just don't smile at him enough."

Relena look into his eyes, inquisitively for several long seconds before she burst out laughing. "You must be joking!"

His angles softened with amusement as he watched her respond to his humor. Calmly he looked over the boy, again. Since opening, his infantile blue eyes had grown bigger and lighter like his mother's, but his charcoal hair did not come from her. Nonetheless, Heero always admired the assets he did inherit from the woman he loved, and the intrinsic beauty that pulled at him.

There was a light tapping at the hospital door before Sally Po let herself in, her own blue eyes twinkling with interest, perfectly complimented by her dirty blonde braids. "Well, if it isn't the young Mr. Darlian?"

Relena gently pulled the baby into her own arms, from Heero's, silently thanking him in an intimate look, and turned to present her firstborn to the family's doctor and longtime friend.

"Aren't you just precious?" She cooed into his mother's arms.

As the door closed behind her, Heero caught sight of the man across the hall, standing patiently with his ice blue eyes watching the room under long, white-blond hair.

Heero swallowed, weighing his levels of loyalty to his charge before he silently stood. In spite of having known him and trusted him for nearly a decade, his movement put both women on edge. He noticed them eyeing him and nodded, stepping out of the room without a word.

Relena sighed. The nod was all she could expect, but with their unique relationship, that was enough.

Heero stood with his eyes closed, listening to the closing of the patient room door. When he was satisfied, he scanned the hall. As expcted, the tall blond man had moved to the turn at the end of the hall. When his stare met Heero's he disappeared around the corner, leading the Japanese pilot down and to the right. Heero followed the corridor to the end, where a small office, seldom used, stood opened and waiting for him. He followed the invitation.

Entering the room, he was welcomed by the silent approval of two men. The blond, of European decent, stood in a corner, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. At the desk, with a Preventer Hospital computer lit up in front of him, sat a young Chinese man Heero had been given the pleasure of serving with before. Without pleasantries, Heero closed the three in for their discussion.

"Relena doesn't know you're in town," Heero scolded the blond man.

"I will pay my sister a visit tomorrow, at work."

"You're avoiding."

"It's not your concern, Yuy."

"Relena's family is my concern, Zechs."

Icy silence fell between them as the old rivals sized each other up.

"The child is here for his six week checkup," the Chinese man said, turning from Heero to the warm machine with cobalt eyes.

"Hn," was the only answer from the guardian.

"He had his blood drawn, yes?"

Heero nodded silently. "Why does this matter, Wufei?"

The second Asian man turned his attention onto the child's biological uncle, giving him the floor to speak.

After a moment of quietly studying Heero, he said, "We have the boy's DNA, then."

Immediately, Heero felt threatened. What would Relena's bitter older borther need with her son's DNA codes? "And?"

"We can cross reference it against Relena's," Wufei said, giving Heero time to respond.

Prussian blue eyes dropped away, deep in thought. He understood, now.

After sufficient time, Zechs added, "We can find the father, Heero." The hatred saturated each syllable.

"Say the word and he's yours," Wufei added.

He nearly shuttered at the thought. This was about revenge. To say the thought hadn't crossed Heero's mind would be an outright lie. He pictured the man who had hurt his companion dying at his hands several times a day. But—

"We go on your command, Yuy," Wufei said.

Heero closed his eyes, taking a steeling breath. "No."

"What?" The blond stepped off of the wall, with an air of offense.

"I said no." His fists clenched at his sides when he met the taller man's eyes with determination. "I promised Relena. Do what you will, but I will have no part of it."

Without a moment to allow them to respond, he turned his back to the room, throwing open the door. Inclining his head, he spoke in a far more quiet tone, barely audible, but with chilling authority. "See that you visit your sister while in town. I will not keep _you_ a secret from her."

Zechs gave a defiant snort as the door fell shut between them.

:::

Rain and autumn both hold their own beauty. The pouring rapture of a summer rain was freeing to Relena, filling her heart with scent of water and dust and filling her mind with cleansing freedom. Autumn, warm, thick colors and scents, wrapped around her, as long as she could remember, brought her back to the innocence of her youth. Each giving her refreshing tastes of hope.

But together, they were poison. Nearly a year of suppressed memories and pain were the only thing that seemed to hold her as the golds and reds of autumn drowned in the cool grey of the late season storm. As the colors blurred in her bedroom window, she sank in the quicksand of her mind.

"_Well, well, well. If it isn't the Vice Foreign Minister," the dark haired man purred in a threatening tone._

_Relena straightened her back, refusing to be cowed by a stranger, never mind a common criminal. "You may have what you will, as I seem to find myself without escort, but I assure you, sir, this is not what you want."_

_His lip curled up with mischief, giving her a glimpse of his stained, yellow teeth. Relena's polite temperament scolded her, internally, for noticing how strongly he reeked of stale cigarettes and body odor. His green plaid, flannel shirt was folded up to the elbow, his dark skin filthy with leftover grease and dirt from his blue collar job. She swallowed back her distaste, offering him a kind smile, instead, as she presented her purse to him._

_The man scoffed at her. "Oh, hell, Minister, you got me!" His tone dripped of sarcasm. "Naw, lady-ma'am. You hold onto that there purse. I done seen the light. I'mma change my ways." His dark grin rolled into a low, sinister chuckle._

_Relena's brows furrowed as she fought back panic. His interest almost made it seem like she was targeted. But whatever for? "Who are you? What do you want with me?"_

_The man snorted at her suspicion. "Who am I? WHO am I?"_

_He turned his back, shifting his attention on and off of her, as he scanned to make sure she was as alone as she seemed._

"_M'lady," he said in a raspy voice as she stalked toward her with a predatory look in his eyes. "You don't need to know who I am."_

_Relena dropped her purse, her eyes wide and trembling when his heavy hand closed around her slender wrist, twisting her body and slamming her into the brick wall beside her._

_Relena choked back a gag as his toxic breath came flooding over her ear and filling her mouth and nose. "But we're gonna get to know each other real well."_

Relena jumped in place when another dark hand closed around her tiny arm. The hand loosened only slightly at her surprise as his midnight blues studied her through a stone still face.

"I'm sorry," Relena whispered, almost incapable of finding her own voice. Something in his eyes made her think he knew her secret, but she answered in defiant silence, strengthening her own stare under his scrutiny.

"Are you alright?" Heero asked.

"Yes," she answered, regaining control over her anxiety with deep, sturdy breaths. Slowly the sound of her son's pleas came to her ears. She blushed realizing just how far gone she was in her own mind.

"You didn't hear the baby," Heero said, stating what she clearly already knew.

She swallowed, nodding at his observation. "I'm sorry. I was—thinking."

His eyes smoldered with a sense of understanding, but he gave no push for her confession. Letting go, he stood away, allowing her to pass. "If you need a break, just say the word and I can handle the feeding," he offered.

Relena smiled back at him graciously. "Thank you, no. I still think we need to hoard our bonding time."

Heero gave her a nod, parting ways at the stairs before they reached the nursery.

Relena pulled the sobbing child into a careful embrace, hushing him with a tender song as she settled him against her to nurse. The song came out in broken fragments, but the soft cooing of the lullaby didn't seem to break as she calmed her hungry son.

After several minutes Relena caught the familiar spicy scent of Heero's aftershave filtering into the room. She glanced at the doorway to find him watching her with a strange emotion in his eyes. It was a distant look she could only seem to place in her adoptive father's eyes, many, many years before, as he'd watch her play with her mom. She beamed at him, though she wasn't sure if it was in thanks for the compliment or if she was smiling at her father in the happier memory.

He stepped into the room, after several minutes, offering her some opened envelopes with the mysterious gleam intensifying into joy in his eyes.

Relena's stare dropped to the paper on top, noting the beautiful scrollwork of her son's birth certificate and the computerized mimickery of fine calligraphy announcing his name. _Benjamin Raberba Yuy. _

_Yuy?_ Relena gasped, unconsciously, lifting her fingers to her mouth.

"Heero! Are you sure about this?" She asked, unlatching the satisfied baby and adjusting herself as she balanced him on her lap.

He smirked the smallest amount as he took the boy off of her hands. "I will not turn my back on him."

"But Heero—"

One more look from him silenced her.

Relena dropped her head, shaking it in disbelief. "A lifetime commitment?"

"Have I not given you the same?"

Her eyes looked old and wise when she smiled up at him. Somehow in the silence, she communicated her answer and his smile faltered.

"I will_ not_ leave you. Either of you."

Relena swallowed the emotions in her throat. She grinned in compliance, standing before him. "Well, I suppose that means you won't mind changing him while I put this away?"

He nodded, stepping aside so she could leave.

As the door closed behind her, he laid the child on a changing table, unswaddling him as he burped and laughed in a learning voice.

Heero's eyes met his and he leaned close. "Do you want me to smile?"

The boy giggled and glowed up at him.

"Is that right?" Heero checked the door, one last time before bearing his teeth in a cheesing grin.

The boy howled with excitement, laughing as hard as ever.

"You like it when Daddy smiles, don't you?"

Heero's lips pursed in amusement, and the boy kicked and called for him.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Apologies. This chapter was supposed to have at least another scene or two in it, but the large scene just kept growing and growing. [Haha. She said "growing".] I hope you don't mind. :-P I promise to cover more area in Chapter 7. ;-)

In related news, I've also upped the rating, just to be safe.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Beauty. There were a million other women in the universe with the same gentle blue eyes and the same golden blonde hair, but she had something they didn't. Beauty. They were easy enough on the eyes, but she was—ethereal.

And here, in this place, he was able to openly take her in. He could smile, without feeling out of place. Here, he could let his soul, his thoughts and desires, show openly.

Looking at him curiously, her grin sparkled with a soft warmth—the kind which she would show him in this plane or the other. Her eyes beamed with innocence. "Heero," her lips said, softly, with the voice of an angel.

His response was silence. There were a million things to say, now, but no words could compare.

He smiled. Softly. Genuinely.

He watched the woman wander away from him, down the busy street, blushing. He tried to follow after her, but in spite of his pace, she grew further and further away. He quickened, but to no avail.

Fighting back the panic, he refused to allow her from his sight.

Suddenly she stopped.

Time stopped.

Slowly she turned to face him, her smirk ever-present and her blush deepening.

Then, from the darkness behind, a man reached out and grabbed her.

Her visage transformed to that of shock and horror. She looked like a child who'd heard their first lie. Like a girl who'd first had her heart broken. This couldn't be real.

Frantically, she tried to pry free, pushing at the raven haired, faceless man in her struggle.

Heero forced his heavy legs to move, screaming internally that they carry him faster; but with every step he grew further away.

"Relena!"

He had to get to her. Why couldn't he get to her?

The faceless man slammed her helpless body into a wall, his thumb pressing closed the apple of her throat as she struggled. Her clothes were already shredded. Her eyes were quickly losing their light.

"Relena!" He cried, fighting the hordes of faceless zombies to reach her. "Let her go! RELENA!"

Suddenly she turned her gaze on him, her eyes guilting him in the loss of their innocence.

"Relena," he whispered in a broken voice, feeling only the shattering of her heart.

:::

Heero awoke to the feeling of his entire body flinching at once. He eyes snapped open, hidden under billows of golden hair. Slowly and carefully he drew his arms out from around her, lifting his body into a nearly fetal sitting position, his elbows draped over his knees as he caught his breath.

The full bodied jerk awoke the sleeping princess, but as was her wont, she lay intentionally still. Sometimes she could dose back off, but some she would lie awake, eyes closed, and wait for him to settle beside her, again. She had known of the dreams for months, but she could never bring herself to ask. Was he terrorized by his memories of the war? Or had _she_ brought on him these nightly torments?

Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was too close to morning and he would not try to sleep any longer. She had to choose whether to end the charade and turn to face him, in spite of the way it would surely strip away his defenses, or whether she would continue on with their silent dance around the intimacy that was trying to build.

Sighing softly, she shifted her weight, slowly turning from the nightstand, onto her back, so she could see her guardian. When her eyes met his, she almost flinched at their intensity, sadness and concern.

_She_ was the object of his nightmares.

The silent seconds ticked by as they each lost themselves in each other's eyes and their own thoughts. After a long quiet, she finally gave in to the desire to duck from his powerful gaze, examining his body before her. His chestnut hair was plastered to a sweat drenched brow. Salty excretion trickled from the creases, down his temple and danced along his sharp jawline. The hollow of his neck looked abnormally appetizing as it both flushed and glistened from the inner turmoil. His naked bronze skin continued down over rippling muscles to his hip bone, each inch covered in the translucent sheen. Finally, her eyes stopped at the elastic rim of his midnight blue boxers, set loosely over the bone at the bend of his body. Somehow, nearly immune, now, to the magnificence of his appearance, Relena found her eyes resting safely nearest his thighs, as her mind stumbled over itself for something to fill the awkward emptiness between them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice quivering with guilt for making him face her.

He studied her for several moments without a word, and then gave a slow nod. "There's no need. You've done nothing wrong."

Relena looked away, her eyes shadowed in the mystery of her thoughts. She just didn't know how to ask. Glancing at him, again, she gave him the opportunity to open the conversation, but he remained still.

Sighing with sadness, she pulled away the covers and walked softly into the adjoining bathroom.

Heero's eyes followed her, dropping down the shimmering, baby blue nighty to her naked legs and taking in her very attractive adult form with every gentle step. She disappeared for a moment, allowing him to temporarily conquer his baser thoughts, before emerging with a dry washcloth.

She smiled, blushing lightly, as she crawled back into the bed, sitting herself in front of him. Without a word, she began drying the sweat. First, she pressed the soft terrycloth to his brow; her face near enough to study the pores as her breath washed over his eyes, tickling his lashes as it fell, trembling, from her lips.

In response to the gentle blow, his Prussian blue orbs closed themselves, allowing his other senses to take in her presence; her closeness. The soft floral smell of roses, clinging to her skin from a late night lotion application, enveloped him, intensifying the intimate proximity of her position. The material she toweled him with could not be softer than the strange feeling of her body heat near him, settled between his legs. He listened as she struggled to control her breathing, to hide the nervous rapidity of her lungs' movement, touching him this way.

Relena swallowed, hoping he wouldn't hear, as she also battled down a craving for his touch. To fight the feeling washing over her, she concentrated on the task at hand, squinting as though it would help her focus. As the rag dragged gingerly over his lips, he rewet them behind it, crushing her soul with another wave of warm longing.

Heero's eyes slowly came open, again, when he felt the cotton go from dabbing to wiping, past his jawbone and down the tendons of his neck. His Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed, following her face with a soul-piercing stare. The corner of her mouth gave slightly to an amused or intrigued smirk when he had responded to her touch, but she carefully kept her eyes half-lidded to avoid contact with his. Curious of her thoughts, he grew increasingly still, studying her movements for a wordless clue.

Relena's concentration faltered from working to wanting as she sopped up the cool sweat over his collar bone and down his relaxed, but swollen biceps. Reaching around to capture the pool between his shoulder blades, her thoughts trailing one hesitant step behind, and she found her forehead nearly at his slightly parted lips and her breasts pressed naturally to his still glistening, naked chest.

Heero took another deep breath, slowly absorbing the beautiful shampoo residue in her hair. "It was you," he sighed against her soft skin as she dragged the cloth over his should and down his sturdy chest.

Relena froze, pausing the ministration and closing her eyes to hear him out.

Heero swallowed, again, looking down over her face as she fought the urge to meet his gaze. "I couldn't get to you in time."

It was what she had feared. She had become his nightmare. "I'm sorry," she mumbled under her breath, tears welling in her eyes.

Carefully, he brought his hand to her face, brushing the loose hairs from between them and tucking them safely behind her ear. He ran the backs of his fingers along her cheekbone, memorizing the feel of her skin as he waited for her to face him.

Incredibly aware of just how close their faces were, she reluctantly looked up, the windows of her soul flowing with powerful and unguarded emotion, her lips resting against his chin.

"Never," he answered in a raspy voice, leaving the remainder of the scolding unspoken, as his eyes gently reprimanded her for her self-inflicted guilt.

Relena blinked, her gaze shifting with her nerves, wishing he would allow her to look away. Slowly she watched his eyes darken with a predator like shadow, as he drank up the sight of her. He steadied himself with a slow breath, carefully inching his lips toward hers.

Relena could feel her body trembling in his arms when he kissed her. This was nothing like the goodnight kiss from months before, or the passing peck he might give her on the cheek when he comforted her. With sweet and salty taste of his mouth, she felt the intensity of his emotions. Under her shaking fingers, she felt his heart pounding in his chest, as though it would soon break through his ribs and escape into her embrace. This kiss was not that of an old friend or a young flame. This healing touch was that of passion, slowly unbridling before her, as he locked her close with his free arm and both of his legs.

The woman hesitated for a few seconds out of surprise, which seemed to her to be an eternity. Realizing her pointless shock and the opportunity of the moment, she released the breath she never knew she was holding, and pressed her mouth hard against his. In the first moments she tasted his lips, salty from sweat, with what was left of his nondescript lotion from the prior evening and a hint of minty toothpaste that had been left behind. Once she tasted nothing but skin between her parted lips, she ran the tip of her tongue over his flesh, pressing at the crease that she knew held access to his mouth.

Heero gave to her pleading, opening the entry to take more of her in. As he let her past the barrier, she found his tongue wet and silky, sweet with nectar as his teeth scraped unintentionally on her own soft flesh. Heero gave still more to his siren's advance, lowering himself onto his back as she pressed her satin clad body flush over him, allowing his sweat to seep through the material to her hardened nipples.

"Relena," he growled into her kiss as she untangled her legs from between him and straddled his hips for better and more comfortable access. She could feel him, ready, under her, quickly losing control to their long denied chemistry.

"Heero," she whispered, begging still more, as she slipped her hand up to the nape of his neck, encouraging his advance. His body pressed harder against her from below, wordlessly voicing his growing need.

Suddenly the monitor on the nightstand came alive with a familiar whimper. Relena's eyes snapped open shooting it with a fearful look to the device, imploring it to be silent.

The turn of her head granted Heero access to her long neck, and as his lips danced over her silken skin, his teeth leaving a red trail, she nearly lost all reasonable thought with a deep moan; though she wasn't sure if it was a protest or approval.

The monitor cried out, again, this time louder. There was no question what Benjamin wanted her to know. Before she could consciously put the pieces together, her breasts ached to answer the cries. As the child's voice increased in volume, Relena gave up the fight, laying her forehead on Heero's, signaling an end to their stolen moment.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, almost unable to pull herself away.

The howling increased as Heero caught his breath, reassuring her with kind eyes and soft touches.

All too soon, she was climbing out of her bed and answering the child's command, leaving Heero to start himself a cold shower.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: The last week or two have been beautiful chaos at home, and I have hit a super-ultra-mega writers' block wall and my brain hates me! LOL I hope this chapter came out right, and I hope you guys enjoy it.

PS, I know I'm more than due for another Pink Ribbons Chapter, but it's the same problem. I know what happens next, but the words just aren't coming out. Please be patient. I haven't forgotten! lol

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

The platinum blond man sighed, shaking his head as his nearly white hair swayed with the movement. From his throat came a sound of protest, a groan but not unlike a growl, as he raised his fist in front of him.

_Bang, bang, bang._

No use being cordial.

The door opened after a few short seconds after, and the visitor met Heero's dark eyes. The man answering nearly smirked with gloating amusement.

"It would seem that my sister has elected to work from home, for the time being."

The Japanese man frowned, though his eyes still seemed to hold a gleam. "Mothers can be strange, that way."

Zechs's nostrils flared with undertones of instinctual revulsion.

Heero's humor sank away as he took one step closer to emphasize his words. "I would suggest you restrain your aversive attitude. Relena's no fool, and she will not overlook your distain in her own home for long."

The taller man broke eye contact momentarily, looking thoughtful as he tried to suppress his hatred. Swallowing, he gave a slow nod, and was answered with a widening of the entryway.

"Benjamin is down for a nap. She is in her office."

Zechs could feel an angry flush in his face as he made his way up the stairs. Heero Yuy had come to know him too well. Now his former nemesis was not only living with his sister, likely in sin, but he was openly mocking him before permitting him entry. And to top it off, he'd have to make this long awaited visit short and carefully sweet or he'd have to proverbially break bread with that—

He swallowed, unable to complete the thought as he reached the landing, in front of Relena's cracked doorway.

"Heero? Who was that at the door?"

Zechs took another deep and intentionally long breath before opening the office and answering. "Pardon the intrusion, Baby Sister, but I was hoping to pay you a visit while in town."

Relena's entire face lit up with joy when she laid eyes on the unexpected guest. Before she had time to think, her feet were scurrying underneath her to close the gap. "Milliardo!" She called out, referring to his birth name as she collapsed into his arms. After having spent the vast majority of their years separated, she, oblivious to his existence, they both made an effort to magnify the terms of endearment, to include the former prince's given Peacecraft name. Where everyone else had come to know the bitter, heartbroken, revenge bent Zechs Marquise, Relena was still determined to remember her innocent and likely kind brother, Milliardo, from the portraits of her forgotten childhood.

In spite of his defenses and inhibitions, the glow on her face brought him joy. He found himself squeezing her just a little bit tighter in his embrace. His baby sister. One of the only two people who loved him unconditionally. It really had been too long.

"Relena," he said softly, knitting his eyebrows in concern as he looked her over. "You still look—" The words ran out without a clear an inoffensive path to spell his concerns.

"Pregnant?" She smiled.

He winced in response.

"It's fine," she laughed quietly. "Sally said the swelling's going down well, actually. Better than expected. She said it just proves that the first pregnancy is the easiest." She smiled back at him, over her shoulder, as she made her way to her desk. Turning to face him, she hiked her hip up, onto the wood, as she leaned back on a hand for the conversation.

Zechs's eyes dropped to the floor in thought. He nodded slowly. "So," he cleared his throat. "You're planning on having more? Children, I mean."

"I think I would like that," she smiled. "I'm certainly not ruling it out."

Zechs swallowed, making his way to the wall and following the wall paper patterns through the room to the windows. Nervously, his fingers tapped silently on the windowsill as he looked into the afternoon sunshine, reflecting in thought.

"Will you and Lucrezia be having children?"

"I think we're still—undecided."

Relena's gaze followed him and she waited patiently as he drifted into a pensive stance.

"It should be interesting building a family from here," he said, keeping the conversation around her.

She nodded, understanding his intent as she looked for a soft answer. Taking a breath, she said, "You don't believe it would be possible to find a mate for a 'ready-made' family?"

He silently met her stare.

Relena answered with kind warmth. "Do you think me naïve for expecting as much?"

His eyes dropped.

She nodded, finally beginning to feel the waves of offense crashing against her resolve. "My friends accept my son, you know."

This time his eyes looked cold and intense when they turned back up to her.

Relena bit her lip. "_In fact,_" she continued. "I'm assured he's taken care of, and I won't have to worry about seeking out a father for him. He has at least three." Her own glare sent a chill through the tall man as he slowly came to face her defensive nature.

"So the rumors are true about Yuy and the—child?"

She took a steeling breath. "Yes."

His lips tightened with disapproval.

"I assume your issue with my child is his biological paternity?"

He looked away, again, anger for her attacker welling up inside him.

She kept her voice low, but her tone biting. "Do not assume that a person's past or bloodline determines who they are or what they are capable of. He has as much potential to become something great as you had to become a mass murderer, Zechs Marquise."

The man's body visibly jolted as he looked up at her, aghast. "What did you ca—?"

"He is as much _my _child as anyone's," she continued, raising her voice with indignation as she rose and made her way around the desk to face him at arm's length. "If not more, as _I_ am the one who will be rearing him."

He sighed, his nose flaring, again. "And what of the people? Do you expect they will accept your decision? Or have you given your career no thought? This is a disgrace upon you and our family."

"I suggest you withhold your judgment on my son, sir."

She finally paused, making her way to the window, across from him, so she could still her soul with the view. The sky was a crystalline blue, like it had been _that_ day. Above a cloud called her attention as it cloaked the unseasonably bright sun. "Storms happen," she sighed, closing her eyes. She peeked at him, again. "But a rainbow does not lose its beauty because of the darkness that created it. If anything, the violence of the tempest increases the colors' vibrancies."

With that, she nodded to herself, striding to the door. She did not face him until she held it open. "Good day, Colonel," she said in an icy tone.

Zechs made a fist with the fingers that had been lightly tapping at the sill only moments before. He nodded, accepting his fate, and waltzed through the door with his head held high. "Good day, Baby Sister," he whispered, bowing slightly as he passed her, feeling an emptiness as she refused him even eye contact in his exit.

Relena's grip on the door tightened as the seconds passed in his leaving. She slowly closed the passage, turning to face her desk. Feeling the weight of his unfair disapproval she moved forward, slowly. The harsh looks and judgment, both voiced and unvoiced, battered at her in her mind. The desk seemed to become even further from her as she lost the battle to her hurt and to gravity. It felt like a terribly dream. In a final push, she found herself collapsing to the floor, overcome by the breaking of her own heart. There was positively no defense for the unjust hatred by her only other family.

In the emptiness of the room, only her sobbing accompanied her for several long and torturous minutes. She could feel her body heaving as the coarse threads of the carpet bit into her tender elbows. She would never let him drive a wedge between her and her firstborn, regardless of the potency of his bitterness. And yet, _knowing_ he was wrong was not enough. He hated her baby, and it was torture. Would she ever make peace? Would she ever win his approval?

She was so distraught, she hardly noticed the strong arms that wrapped around her waist, hoisting her off of the floor and adjusting her weight so she was cradled against a solid male chest. Moments later, still blurred by veils of tears, she was being laid into the safe embrace of her bed. Silently, her guardian loosened her blankets and covered her shivering body, massaging her arms with his firm hand.

"I don't understand," she whispered, unable to steady her voice.

Heero was silent for a long while, so long that she wondered for a moment if he was there or if it had been a dream. "You can't change him," he said, finally. "But that doesn't change the fact that he's wrong."

She buried her face in her pillow, feeling humiliated by her brother's lack of honor.

"You've survived too much to give in to a bitter old prince, Relena. You're strong. You should know that."

"Am I strong? Or am I really just foolish?"

"You're strong. You're perfect."

She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as the tears finally died.

"Relena," he called in a softer voice than even she was used to.

She looked up at him, her eyes questioning.

He brushed a stray, wet lock of hair from her forehead, smiling over her kindly. "You're my hero."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

Lucrezia set her keys down on the table by the door as she stepped into the condo she shared with the mysterious man who was once a prince. A smile lighted her face when she saw his keys already in their place. Even the first spring blade of grass after winter's harsh punishment failed to compare to the childlike joy she felt when she knew he was home.

"Twelve days," she whispered wistfully, regaining her composure.

Quietly she went from room to room, peeping her head in each to catch a glimpse of the ghost that haunted her home. Finally, stepping into their room at the end of the hall, she found him, with his back facing her. Zechs stood tall in the window, looking out at the cold world on the outside. The skies were nearly white, as they tend to be during the snowiest parts of the season. Without directly looking for the line, it would be hard for one to tell where the hills ended and the fog began. In the late, icy months, there was nothing to look at but bareness, and yet he stared.

"How was your visit with your sister?" She ventured.

A despondent sigh confirmed her suspicions.

"That badly?" She said, smiling in spite of her own disappointment.

Zechs refused to move. He refused to face her. He just stood there, statuesque, and glared pensively into the dreamy white meadow.

_Why do I suspect this is your fault and not hers, Zechs?_ Lucrezia closed her eyes, shaking her head sadly and slowly.

:::

Heero scanned the surrounding area as he rose from the car. He took in every detail his eyes could capture. Across the way, there was a small girl throwing a tantrum in front of a bakery and a businessman looking disapprovingly at her mother as he passed. Above, on one of the balconies of the apartment complex, a couple had apparently elected to play hooky and hang out, barely dressed, necking each other in the late morning light. Further down, to Heero's relief, traffic was slowly inching their way around a fender bender, over which two civilians were arguing over fault and the value of their now damaged vehicles. Out of the dozens of people he'd noted in his scan, nothing seemed out of place or threatening. Finally, he leaned back toward the car, offering his hand.

Relena rested her weight on him as he pulled her up, onto the curb. She carefully kept her eyes to the ground, avoiding taking in the once familiar scenery. Though Relena used to frequent the place to rally her supporters, defend her position, defy a policy she felt was unjust or just to support her friends, she had not been to the Capital Building in nearly a year. Frankly, it was the last place she wanted to find herself.

Her body seemed to shake slightly as she took a steeling breath, rolled her shoulders back and lifting her chin to face the entrance.

"Are you worried about Benjamin?" Heero asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

It took Relena a moment to realize her nerves were showing enough for him to see. "Yes," she answered with a smile, not bothering to look at him.

Centering herself, she began the long and almost forgotten march up the stairs. Her heels clicked on the marble with resounding determination as she made her way to the top and charged through the door. She gave security a passing glance as she stepped through the silent metal detector, grinning slightly as Heero followed, and the alarms went crazy. With a wave of his security pass, he was able to keep up with her, following her down a hall to the East wing, and finding himself beside her, outside a conference room door. With a small nod, she assured him of her strength and he held the door, allowing her into the echoing room of chaos.

"—But the situation in L3 is still unstable!" Yelled a heavyset man with a moustache and thinning grey hair.

"It _is_ making progress, though! Vice Minister Darlian's speech was moving. The people were clearly inspired to help themselves." The tall thin man with salt and pepper hair argued.

"That was _months_ ago. Miss Relena's _preoccupation_ has allowed too much silence. The people need to see more leadership!" The large man insisted.

A young man on the far side of the table cleared his throat, grabbing the older men's attention. In the sudden silence, Quatre stood to his feet and smiled to greet Relena. "Perhaps if you have an issue with the Vice Minister's 'preoccupation', you should ask her, yourself."

The larger man grimaced, nodding to Relena and her guard as he sat down. He smiled, as though glad to see her, but the sweat on his brow and neck and the flush of his ears told a very different story.

"Miss Relena," the tall man greeted with a genuine smile as he took her hands in his. "It's been too long. My wife and I have been meaning to come and pay you and your son a visit, but I'm afraid I've been kept rather busy. She's been all a bustle about how precious infants are and how my work is stealing her time with your child. You know how these older women get where babies are concerned."

"I think that's most women—most _people_, in fact," Relena smiled. "Please don't worry yourself over me, Foreign Minister Thatcher. Having a child is enough of an adjustment, without the concern of too many visitors."

"Oh," he answered, the smile disappearing on his face.

"That's not to say that you're not welcome," she laughed. "I'm just saying not to worry yourselves."

He gave an appreciative nod, leading her to the table.

"Miss Darlian," the balding man began, again. "I think it's in everyone's best interest if you travel to L3, again."

"Ambassador Monet, I understand your reasoning, but a trip to L3 is out of the question, right now."

"Because of the baby? It's hardly a concern of the state to make your child comfortable."

Relena pressed two fingers to her temples, straining to maintain composure. "Ambassador, I cannot pack up and leave for—"

"This is important, Miss Darlian. What about the father? Can't he handle things while you're gone?" The Ambassador pressed.

"I'm nursing," she said sharply. "I can't be away from the baby for more than a few hours at a time. I certainly can't whisk off into space for God knows how long."

The balding man seethed, leaning close to her. "Well, I didn't get you pregnant, and I didn't tell you to keep it."

Heero stood up, off the wall, ready to take a swing at the overweight Ambassador for the comment.

"Ambassador Monet!" The Foreign Minister scolded. "That's quite enough."

"No," he rebutted. "No. Do you know what the people are saying about this? They're outraged." He turned his attention back to Relena who seemed, externally, to be calm. He settled close, like he was her friend. "Listen, Miss Relena. I understand accidents happen, but sometimes you've just got to make a decision and go with it."

She turned her attention to Monet, her eyes laced with shock and offense.

"You're not exactly a bad find, Miss Relena," the Ambassador pressed. "Tell the man he has to make a commitment. He needs to make an honest woman out of you. You really can't be a mother and maintain the peace on your own, after all."

Her jaw dropped open.

Before she could speak, Quatre was on his feet. "ENOUGH."

Everyone in the room turned their attention on him at the surprising outburst.

"You will not pressure Miss Relena any further on this matter," Quatre said through clenched teeth. "You don't know anything about her story and you have no business telling her what to do."

"I second that," Heero growled, finally settling back against the wall.

The Foreign Minister quietly nodded, sealing the demand for Monet's retreat. He turned his attention on his Vice. "Relena, do not feel pressured to make any decisions or changes regarding your family over what the fools think."

Meeting his gaze, Relena felt relieved to find grace and support from outside her inner circle. "Thank you, Foreign Minister," she whispered.

"The matter at hand still holds validity," Quatre reminded them. He looked up at Relena. "The people are growing restless, again. They need to hear from you.

"I suggest that I go in your place, but I bring along with me a message. You could put together a video file, just for their colony. You'll need to address their needs, their fears and their weaknesses."

Relena nodded.

"In the meantime," Quatre continued. "It may be wise if they also receive a personal visit or two from the Foreign Minister, himself. They don't realize how important they are to us, but that will help them understand it a little more. Wouldn't you agree, Minister Thatcher?"

The tall man nodded approvingly.

"So," Quatre said softly, looking at the three other politicians. "Have we reached an agreement?"

Even Ambassador Monet begrudgingly nodded his head.

"Then I will see most—if not all—of you in the congress hall. Have a good day."

As Money huridly sulked out the door, Minister Thatcher gently touched Relena's elbow to capture her attention. "A word, if you will?" He requested.

Relena nodded at Heero and informed Quatre aloud that she would meet him in the hall. When the door closed, she was left alone with her superior.

"Relena, there is a truth to what Monet is trying to say, you know," he started softly. His gentle tone seemed to apologize as it flowed. "I don't want to see any pressure on you in this matter, Relena, but if you ask my opinion—I do think it would be in _your_ best interest to have some canned answers for the masses."

Relena nodded, understanding.

"Listen," he continued. "I don't care what happened. I don't care if he's an asshole or a married man, or prince charming from the stars, I want _you_ to be happy, Relena. Please know that?"

She smiled reassuringly.

"Will you be sitting in on Congress?" The Minister asked in a much more domineering voice as he opened the door.

"That sounds like it might be a wise idea," she answered. "It would do me good to get my feet in the water, again."

:::

Relena seemed flustered when Heero told her it was after nightfall. For the life of him, he wasn't sure what had upset her so. Everyone else was still inside, busy arguing over diplomacy policies and interior spending. What left him more unsettled was the sudden apprehension she showed when she walked out the door. The cold winter air quickly froze their bodies to the bone, but he wasn't entirely sure that that was why she was shivering.

"Where's the car?" She asked through lips that were quickly turning blue.

Heero nodded down the street a short way, to where her driver had been forced to park by higher ranking escort cars.

Relena's brows furrowed and she slowly inched her way down the stairs. She could feel Heero watching her, wondering why she was taking so long, when quicker movement would help her keep her body temperature in a reasonable zone. She tried to smile at him, but all she could do, walking closer and closer to the location of the car, was frown. She felt like she was being marched to her own execution.

Her body stiffened as she nearly reached the car. In the distance, she'd swear she heard Heero's voice, though her eyes told her that he was right there.

She could feel the emptiness behind her. The presence.

"Relena?" Heero called.

She tried to pull herself from the trance, finally looking up from her feet. "Huh?"

She could hear it behind her. Without a thought, she turned and looked into the darkness.

And the darkness came at her.

"RELENA!" Heero shouted, moving quickly to catch her head as the rest of her body collapsed, trembling, to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I apologize, my dear readers. I'm a pragmatist. One can only solve a problem when they look at the reality of it. Feel free to skim the details. I don't mind. MATURE, MATURE, MATURE. This is by far the darkest thing I've ever written. (Actually…my chest kind of hurts from writing it, so there's your perspective yardstick.) Um…I normally say "enjoy" at this point, but PLEASE don't. Good luck…?

I will say this SHOULD be the only chapter of its kind, so please don't be turned off. The story still has a long way to go, and it shouldn't ever be THIS hard, again.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

"RELENA!" Heero shouted, moving quickly to catch her head as the rest of her body collapsed, trembling, to the ground. Following her gaze, he strained to see into the alleyway, but only found darkness. No threat was there. A scan of her body found no visible wounds, but her sudden drop in body temperature, physical shivering and unresponsiveness was evidence of shock. Aware of their position on a public street, he knew he had to move her.

"Relena," he said, softly, near her ear. "It's Heero. I'm going to move you. I'm touching you. You're safe. Nothing is going to hurt you. Do you hear me?"

Relena's eyes seemed glassy and she gave no answer, but he continued to speak soothingly as he cradled her body against his chest and lifted her to the safety of her car, away from prying eyes.

Once she was secure in the back seat, he continued his scan of her vitals, finding her heart rate far faster than was normal or healthy. The adrenaline rushing through her was at an unsafe level. He had to try to bring her back down.

"Relena? You're safe, now. I've got you. Do you hear me? Relena?"

:::

_Relena tapped her nails on the banister of the Congress Room balcony. The sun had already set and she was still here. It had been such a beautiful day! Unseasonable warmth begged her to stop her meetings time and again, but she just couldn't get away. _

_She'd already stood before the congregation defending her orphanage and homeless support request. Frowning, she grumbled under her breath with irritation about the constituents who were counting on her to get the government to fill these needs, though they, themselves, had never taken the time to put their own money or time toward the needs of those who had less than them. Now she had to undergo harassment from the opposing side, be ridiculed for her "ideology" and reminded that there just isn't enough money to rebuild after a war, as well as provide for the needy. Choosing to see the glass as half-full, she said a silent thank you for philanthropists, like herself and Quatre, as well as the middle class, and sometimes even poor class, families who made room in the budget to share pieces of their provisions with programs to take care of the less fortunate._

_Now Ambassador Monet was about to have his say, again, and she just didn't have the patience for it._

_Looking around, she wondered if anyone would even notice if she stepped out early. She could always argue that she had an appointment, after all. No one needed to know._

_Stepping into the night, alone, she looked at the clear sky, wishing, again, that she could turn back the clock and enjoy the gorgeous day that had passed her by._

_A wistful thought about missing out on other things crossed her mind as she made her way down the stairs, looking up to the stars and allowing herself to feel the growing longing for Heero's company on nights like these. Apparently her decisions regarding Jeremy had been more of an irritant than she'd previously thought. Now it was just another regret; more time wasted, when she should have been enjoying what was actually good for her._

_Nearing her car, in front of an alley she'd passed dozens of time, she held her breath to block out the powerful scent of the dumpster that hadn't been removed, yet, this week. Just as she thought she could make it to the car door without having to breathe, the darkness came at her. A hand gripped her solidly, yanking her back into the abysmal hiding place between the buildings. For a split moment, she'd hoped the strong, masculine fingers were Heero, but by the time a full second of being pulled back, out of sight of the street, she realized she may be in trouble._

_She accepted the choking smell of the garbage, assuring herself that no matter what, she would not panic._

"_Well, well, well. If it isn't the Vice Foreign Minister," the dark haired man purred in a threatening tone._

_Relena straightened her back, refusing to be cowed by a stranger, never mind a common criminal. "You may have what you will, as I seem to find myself without escort, but I assure you, sir, this is not what you want."_

_His lip curled up with mischief, giving her a glimpse of his stained, yellow teeth. Relena's polite temperament scolded her, internally, for noticing how strongly he reeked of stale cigarettes and body odor, easily overpowering her previous annoyance as he neared her. His green plaid, flannel shirt was folded up to the elbow, his dark skin filthy with leftover grease and dirt from his blue collar job. She swallowed back her distaste, offering him a kind smile, instead, as she presented her purse to him._

_The man scoffed at her. "Oh, hell, Minister, you got me!" His tone dripped of sarcasm. "Naw, lady-ma'am. You hold onto that there purse. I done seen the light. I'mma change my ways." His dark grin rolled into a low, sinister chuckle._

_Relena's brows furrowed as she fought back panic. His interest almost made it seem like she was targeted. But whatever for? "Who are you? What do you want with me?"_

_The man snorted at her suspicion. "Who am I? WHO am I?"_

_He turned his back, shifting his attention on and off of her, as he scanned to make sure she was as alone as she seemed._

"_M'lady," he said in a raspy voice as she stalked toward her with a predatory look in his eyes. "You don't need to know who I am."_

_Relena dropped her purse, her eyes wide and trembling when his heavy hand closed around her slender wrist, twisting her body and slamming her into the brick wall beside her._

_Relena choked back a gag as his toxic breath came flooding over her ear and filling her mouth and nose. "But we're gonna get to know each other real well."_

_Relena gasped she felt his finger violently lift her tweed skirt higher, tearing her nylons with a sharp hangnail. "What are you do—"_

_The question answered itself when he pressed his body flush against her, his arousal molding to her back._

"_No—" She rasped, finally giving in to the panic as she twisted and pushed at the wall to break free._

_The man grabbed her pelvic bone with vice-like fingers and slammed it against the stone, pushing her for fighting._

"_NO. Get off of me. Let me go!"_

_His filthy hand came up, over her face, covering her mouth to muffle her screams. Her tongue was taken by the flavor of his salty sweat, her face damp with the residue it left on his palms._

_With determination, he yanked and grabbed, bunching her skirt at her hip so he could access the soft material of her undergarments. Forcibly tearing at one side of the strap that held the dainty cloth together, he removed the last of her protective barriers, bearing her before him._

_Suddenly, his arms encircled her, again, allowing her to breathe for a moment as he spun her body to face him. Still fighting with every instinct she hand, her hands flattened over his face, pushing and clawing with her fingers, to get him away, but it was to no avail._

"_No! NO!" She cried. Desperate to be heard, she screamed the only name she could think of. "Heero! Please! PLEASE NO! HEEEEEERO!"_

_Her assaulter had heard enough. His hand enclosed over her throat, his thumb pressing against the apple and successfully cutting off her voice and most of her air as his other prepared to finish the attack. _

_Fighting helplessly and quickly losing strength without the assistance of air, Relena was his for the taking._

:::

"Relena? Do you hear me?"

Trembling and gasping for air, Relena realized that she was not in the alley, but settled on the cushions of a small couch-like seat in a small place. She was in a car. The man over her, to her relief, didn't smell of cigarettes or liquor. Even the gut wrenching smell of the dumpster was gone. All that was left was the sweet and spicy smell of safety. Of him.

Looking up, her eyes focused again on his face. Heero was sitting at arms' length, eyeing her with intense concern. Suddenly she realized she had no idea how long she had been entranced in the memory, but he knew she was gone. He knew where she had been. It was just like the night terrors. It was—real.

"Heero?" She whispered, tears clouding her vision and pouring down her cheeks. "Heero!" She thrust her body at him, burying herself in his chest. She clung to his jacket for dear life, begging the memory to fade.

Swallowing, she noticed that she could still taste the sweat. Her body was sore from the seemingly fresh breaking of her hymen. The smell of cigarettes seemed to linger, though she realized it was only in her mind. Even his appearance, the flash in his eyes, was more real than it had ever been since that day. This moment, walking down the street in public, had brought her back to that fateful night in a way that even the nightmares paled in comparison to.

This was not memory.

Truly, she had just relived the whole thing.

Gentle, strong arms came around her, caging her protectively in their embrace.

"Heero," she sobbed. "I—" She wanted to apologize for what had just happened, but in the overdose of emotions, no words came out. There was only one word she could say. "Heero, Heero," she mumbled.

Sighing sadly, he rested his chin atop her head, pulling her as close as he could. He'd never seen Relena so afraid as this moment. He'd never known something could hurt her so badly, but this was real. Her body heaved and shook in his arms, guarded from the nothingness by his soft touch. That touch was all that he had that he could offer the woman he cared for, and it quietly killed him. His heart began crumbling all over, again. The night he'd found out could not move him like this moment, seeing the terror in her eyes, himself. Gently he rubbed his hand up and down her back and arms, encouraging her body to warm itself, again.

"It's okay," he whispered into her hair, cooing her for comfort. "I'm not leaving you, Relena. It's okay. You're safe."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: It's a bit citrusy, but I think it's safe for the site. If you're a kid, stop reading. If you're an adult, enjoy. ^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

What struck Pagan as odd was the thick silence that came in the door when Relena and Heero arrived at home. "Benjamin has done well, today, Madame," he offered, but only got an intensely sad looking nod. "Did everything go well?"

"Yeah," she answered in a voice that sounded as though the slightest pressure would shatter it like fine glass.

He swallowed, looking at Heero for an explanation, but her companion just shook his head, his eyes signaling the house manager not to pry. "Very well," he answered both of them. "Benjamin has drifted off, to sleep. Please let me know if you will be needing anything further, tonight."

Relena nodded, again, never looking up. Quietly, she made her way up the stairs with an aura of defeat. Heero waited a few minutes, allowing her space, before bidding Pagan goodnight and following after.

Relena settled at the foot of her bed, her back to the door, and stared out the window into the night. The minutes ticked by with no words as Heero watched her from the doorway. Occasionally she would tilt her head or sigh to answer her body's screaming need for movement, which gave him passing glimpses, of the silent tears streaming down her face.

She didn't choke. She didn't sob. She just cried. She just mourned.

Heero noted that she hadn't turned on the baby monitor, yet, when he heard a small whimper from behind. Benjamin was waking up, and he was likely hungry. Deciding on the best solution for everyone, he answered the baby's call.

"Shhh," he cooed, as he lifted the boy into his arms. "I've got you. It's gonna be okay."

Relena didn't shift when he came in the room. She seemed entranced, still, in her inward thoughts. As he rounded her with the yelping baby, he was relieved to note that the trails of salt down her face were drying. The crying, itself, had stopped. Knowing how heavy her chest must feel and how empty her mind might be, he was very gentle when he spoke. "Relena."

Her eyes moved, slowly, losing their glassy appearance as they began to focus and search her surroundings. She looked perplexed when she saw the baby, unsure of Heero's intention.

"He's hungry."

Relena bit her lip, looking away.

Heero lowered himself to his knees in front of her, cradling her son to his chest as the boy searched for milk. "Relena."

She finally looked at him, carefully avoiding her infant.

"You need him."

Her lips parted, considering Heero's statement. With a slow sigh, she nodded, accepting the Benjamin into her arms.

Heero carefully averted his eyes, so she could modestly latch the child, and then he wrapped them both in a light blanket. Relena looked up when he brushed a stray hair from her forehead, searching her to gauge her strength. She offered him a soft smile to reassure him and then returned her attention to the baby, falling back to sleep at her breast. Turning to leave them alone, Heero grinned as she settled into humming a soft melody. The pattern of notes never struck him as familiar or overly repetitious, but the sounds of her lullabies were by far his favorite part of every nightly routine.

After spending a few minutes regrouping in the solitude of the hallway, Heero noted that the sounds inside the bedroom had changed. She'd gone from singing to shushing, which signaled it was time to put the little man to bed. Taking a deep breath, Heero returned to her side, silently taking over the usual duties, so she could freshen up and change for bed.

Once Benjamin was tucked safely back in the crib, Heero let himself back into Relena's room, finding her standing by the window, arms loosely crossed, dressed in a cream colored, satin gown, her face clean of the tears, as she spread her thoughts before her, in the night sky. She showed no response when the door closed, or any hint that she heard him stripping to his boxers. Finally, as he turned on the baby monitor, he pushed to break the silence.

"Duo left me a message while we were at the Capital."

"Hm?"

Heero smirked slightly at her response. At least he was getting something from her, again. "He said that Hilde has been asking to visit. He was wondering when would be best for you."

This time she let the silence drag on.

"They haven't seen you since Benjamin's birth."

Relena nodded.

Heero sighed with a hint of frustration. Carefully approaching from behind, he studied her. From her posture to her empty eyes, she just looked warn out. Her emotional episode had really taken it out of her, and he was concerned. Gently, he brushed her stray hairs behind her shoulder, revealing her neck and jawline.

Relena finally looked up at him, again, smiling softly with appreciation. With her right hand, she took his arm and laid it along her own, guiding him close enough so he could only embrace her from behind. Following her lead, he pulled her close, settling his jaw against the top of her head as she leaned into his chest. Her muscles cried gratitude for the relief as they finally relaxed against his support.

"Thank you—" she whispered slowly, as though to magnify the importance. "—for Benjamin. You were right—I did need that time with him."

A slight smile graced Heero's face, realizing he did something right. He wasn't so much proud as relieved. He wanted to help her, and he had.

Relena relaxed, still more, allowing her head to roll to the side. Her soft, floral scent wafted up, drawing him in. Unconsciously, he obeyed the bidding, closing his eyes as he turned downward, his nose tickling her just behind her ear. Relena whimpered, ever so slightly, as she reveled in the feeling of his soft breath making her baby hairs dance.

The emotions of the day were still at a nearly painful high. The crashing that night was so much to bear, she thought she'd never smile, again, but Heero's persistence had paid off. The bonding time with her son breathed life back into her, and now her emotions and hormones, alike, were in overdrive, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to fight them, anymore.

Her blood continued to heat with the contact, until she thought she might explode. Allowing herself the surrender, she slowly turned her face up, feeling his breaths continue their dance down her jawline and across her cheek, until they were nose to nose. Neither dared open their eyes, but basked in the closeness, afraid to let the moment get away.

Relena tilted her chin up, slightly, allowing her lips to make hesitant contact with his, her wind gently blowing over them to add to the effect. Heero opened his mouth, tasting her lips as he accepted the kiss. It was all the consent she needed. She sucked and bit at him, breaking past his barriers with each assault. His tongue was like silk, accepting and reciprocating her passion. His arms tightened around her, trapping her close so he could taste her sweetness. In the crashing passion, she brought her hand to the nap of his neck, pulling him still closer to deepen the kiss.

In a rush of need, she found herself turning to face him, though she wasn't sure who was leading the movement, and her body was soon pressed between his steel frame and the edge of the window. Sensing his hesitance to lead things further, she dragged her fingers down his sweltering arms, guiding his hands up her curves. She elicited a vocal sigh when he finally cupped her breasts. She gasped when he massaged them, his fingers grazing over her nipples. A thousand feeling ran through her body—a thousand thoughts through her mind—and all were saying she'd never felt this good.

"Heero," she whimpered, scraping her nails down his bare skin. She explored the valleys and curves of his clean cut abdomen, following the symmetrical lines to the elastic of his boxers. She lifted her head away, letting him ravish her neck as she tried to consider the situation logically, but with the heat of his tongue and the scraping of his teeth at the tender skin of her throat, her thoughts went blank.

One of Heero's hands dropped away, wrinkling the material of her gown as he memorized every inch of her shape on the way down. She was almost startled by the feeling of his fingers squeezing her buttocks, as he reached his goal. Digging his fingertips in as he cupped her body closer, she'd swear she heard him growl into her neck. She moaned with approval when she felt him continue down the line of her leg, guiding her knee up, onto his hip.

A thrust of his pelvis threw her body against the wall. She could hear her voice approving of the feel of him against her, fully aroused and ready, but she couldn't process any words.

Gasping, she gave into another wave of immeasurable desire, and dug her nails into his hips and ass, egging him on. She noticed that even he was beginning to voice his need through groans of longing.

"Heero," she begged, dipping her thumbs below the elastic. Her nails sent shock and excitement through him as they scraped the tender, untouched skin.

Through the heat of arousal, a small thought kept tickling at the back of his mind. Holding her body against him, ready to claim her as his own gave him intense pleasure—and an uncomfortable sense of power. Every time he touched her, she was responding as he intended. Every moment, she was losing more inhibition. He had successfully removed all of her emotional barriers, and he could sense it. If he hurt her, now—

_She's not ready._

Heero opened his eyes, fighting for control as his shallow breaths washed, trembling, over her neck. He could feel the heat from her core, radiating where their bodies met. He had to bring her down.

"Relena," he whispered.

Her hand pressed at the base of his back, leveraging his pelvis against her as she moaned.

Swallowing back the urge to conquer her, he said her name, again. "Relena?"

Realizing that Heero had turned to stone, his hands retreating from her, Relena's body began to quiet and her mind began to question. Slowly, she lowered herself off of him, standing on her own, but refusing to let their head move apart.

"Relena," he said once more, in a stern and sober tone.

When he finally pulled away to look at her, all she felt was panic and shame.

Why was he pulling away? Was she just using him as a coping mechanism? Had she crossed the line? She knew that she loved him, but if he mistook her intention, it could ruin everything.

"You need rest," he said in a particularly somber voice.

His eyes seemed apologetic as he tried to brush the hair from her face, but she pulled away, hurt and embittered. Without words, she stepped out from his shadow, nodding in agreement as she made her way around him, to the bed. She stood staring at the untouched pillows deeply engulfed in her own thoughts for several minutes.

Heero watched, wondering why she seemed so hurt by his decision, when he was obviously trying to protect her. Confused and frustrated, in more ways than one, he silently retreated to the hallway, looking back for a moment before leaving her alone for the night.

When the door closed behind him, Relena threw herself, face first, onto the bed. From deep inside her belly she began to sob. She cried for their friendship. She cried for the unknown. She mourned her innocence and insecurities. She cried for herself—her broken heart. And most importantly, she cried for him. How could she ever have done this to him?

Standing just outside the door, Heero could hear her wails. He swallowed, fighting the trembling anger that rushed through him. He was doing the best he could, but he just couldn't figure out how to make all of this right.

He stormed down the stairs, into the library, and dropped himself onto the couch. Grabbing his laptop, he threw it open without care and began typing furiously. After a moment a confirmation message came up.

_Message to—Chang Wufei—sent._

"_I'm in._

_-Yuy"_


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I know it's been FOREVER. (About a month to be more correct.) I apologize. I've been swamped at home, which attributes to my inability to focus. I am planning on putting out another Pink Ribbons chapter, too, (I do have the outline in my head,) but it may take a little bit longer. I'm glad to finally be able to get this one written down, and I know you vengeance lovers will be stoked with the next one. Lots of love!

-Bear

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Heero was startled back to life when a pile of rough cloth impacted with his face. Pulling away the jean material, he grimaced at the man standing over him, while still blinking sleep from his own eyes. It had only been a few hours at most.

"Get dressed," Quatre said with a smirk. "We need to talk."

Heero clumsily knocked the clothing onto the floor, rubbing his face with a still comatose hand, while rising to a seated position. "You went into my room?"

"I'm surprised you're still keeping your stuff there, after all this time," he said, in reference to the seemingly secret fact that Heero had been _sleeping_ in Relena's room for months. "But to answer your question, yes. And you didn't stir." Quatre crossed his arms, eyeing his friend on the couch, and then the two cooling Styrofoam cups on the coffee table beside them. "Maybe you are human, after all," he quipped.

"Yeah, well, you're not very one dimensional, yourself, Representative," Heero answered, stretching his neck before he began pulling on his pants.

"Don't go letting that one out," Quatre said. "I'd hate for my fellow delegates to stop underestimating me. They make an easy game of chess, and I'd like to keep it that way." He reached out and brought one of the cups to his lips, frowning at the taste of his (now) stale coffee. "If they really knew me, they'd have me old before my years."

"You're already old before your years." Heero pulled on his pullover, looking down at the other veteran as he adjusted the fall of the heavy cloth.

Quatre nodded in agreement. "You have a point there."

"Where to?" Heero asked, picking up the other cold coffee.

"I got here before the baby woke up for a reason," Quatre answered. "We'd best take this one outside."

"Thus the sweatshirt?"

Quatre nodded, leading the way through the house and out the door. The white carpet of snow before them crunched in their footsteps as their weight broke the delicate ice crystals that sealed the wintery scape. The blond man continued to keep an eye on Relena's bedroom window above as they trudged further from sight. Heero took note once, continuing the journey in uncurious silence.

"I was glad to see Relena at work, yesterday," Quatre started in a conversational tone as they followed a path into the woods behind Relena's home.

"Hn," Heero answered in a noncommittal grunt.

Quatre eyed him as they walked, assessing his attitude and attentiveness. "She seems to be doing much better."

Heero's eyes lingered in the dark, making out the barely visible shapes of trees in the distance as he pondered over the comment. "How can one tell?"

"Well," Quatre grinned. "I suppose the secrets of the heart are kept tightly under lock and key, aren't they?"

"Then you're guessing?" Heero asked.

Quatre bowed his head, shaking it in a negative reply. "No. Relena releases much more to me than you'd know. She _is_ doing better."

Heero paused in his step, eyeing his friend for a moment, before silently continuing.

Quatre continued forward, his hands clasped tightly behind his back as he led. "Besides her saying it, her emotional wellbeing shows in every aspect of life. The very fact that she returned to the Capital is a sure sign of improvement."

He paused in the premorning air, looking up as he secretly wished to hear the song of birds, even this late in the winter. "She did tell me about last night," he said nonchalantly. "About the alleyway."

Heero's step faltered, nearly tripping in an uncharacteristic showing of emotion.

"Apparently you handled that well," Quatre complimented him, not bothering to make eye contact before he continued forward.

Heero paused, allowing himself to push the negative feelings from him before continuing on.

"It's hard," Quatre said softly. "Dealing with victims of sexual abuse."

Heero gave a slight nod, though his friend was not looking.

"It's such a complex crime, you know?" Quatre said, almost as though he were thinking aloud. "So deep and—well, intimate. It becomes a very powerful game changer for the survivors." There was a pause in his speech as he weighed his words. "I wish the punishments were harsher," he said with deep conviction.

A flash of anger struck Heero's entire body, leaving a dull ring in his ears.

Quatre sighed, "She's so strong." He watched his feet carefully in the lack of light, making sure each step landed on the crusty snow, as to avoid any smooth sheets of black ice that could rip his feet out from under him. "I suppose she must be, with so many people knowing about the crime."

Heero paused, feeling confused. "But there are only a handful of us."

Quatre turned silently, hearing him out.

"The People don't know," Heero clarified. "Her colleagues don't know. Only a few of her friends."

Quatre nodded, turning back down the path. "And that's more than most people," he answered.

Curious for more information, Heero followed in his usual silence.

"It would seem that the majority of victims never tell anyone that they were assaulted," Quatre said. "The shame and internal pain of sexual assault is so powerful that they would even lie on an anonymous survey to avoid admitting to themselves that they went through it." He shook his head. "It must be torture," he said quietly. "It does, however, make it hard to get an accurate count on the amount of victims we do have around us. They become invisible, sometimes knowingly, because they feel safe there."

Quatre stopped at a small pond near the trail, using the toe of his shoe to gently press at the ice, testing its give until he watched the apparently solid surface break. "No one should have to be that strong," he said. "Keeping a secret like that." He shook his head, his eyes laced in pure sadness. "No one should be so riddled with pain."

With a sigh, he turned and continued on, Heero on his heel. "It seems that in the silent suffering they'll often face many a misunderstanding or callused assault from an ignorant bystander."

He turned to Heero, only to find actual perplexion in the pilot's eyes.

Nodding, solidly, he turned, again and began up a stony hill. "When you haven't suffered something like that, or even, sometimes, if you have, the idea that someone next to you _has_ suffered—and is thus raw and sensitive—is not at the forefront of your mind. Take, for example, religious teaching on sex. More religions than one preach chastity, especially among women, but what of a woman like Relena, who has never _willingly_ given herself to a man? In the barrage of preaching, a well-meaning minister may actually be doing more harm than good, beating a victim with a rod of guilt for a choice they didn't get to make. Or perhaps you might take into account the thoughtless use of terms such as 'rape' as an exclamation in gameplay. Certainly the majority of people saying it haven't taken the time to consider the concept of the word, should it be overheard or directly spoken to a victim of sexual assault."

He glanced back at Heero, who was carefully studying the rocky ground beneath his feet, but listening intently as he walked. "And finally, one should consider the repercussions of such a scar on the relationships that should take and otherwise healthy intimate turn."

Heero's eyes flashed with the little light that was beginning to trickle through, low in the trees. He was paying _close_ attention.

"If," Quatre continued, looking pointedly away as he spoke. "A person, in this case, a man, was to pursue an intimate relationship with a victim, the chances of his mistaking the victim's desires increase in comparison to those who have always had a voice that was heard." He glanced at Heero very briefly, to assure he was being understood. "When the woman—a person, regardless of gender, really—has said 'No' to a sexual encounter, and their choice was vetoed, it will often leave a scar so deep inside them that they fear to use that voice, again—especially in a case like Relena's, where the victim's very _first_ sexual encounter was nonconsensual."

Quatre paused, both in step and word, taking a deep breath of cool air to steady his voice, his eyes glassed over, deep in thought. "I've heard, even, that for some victims, when later approached by those they do not want to bed, a paralyzing terror overtakes them when they want, so badly, to speak for themselves and say 'No'. Because their voice had been ignored, it is, in a sense, stolen. They no longer feel that they have a choice."

Heero's stomach turned at the thought of Relena feeling unable to choose to walk away. He would never see her forced into such an intimate position, without being heard.

Quatre turned his gaze on Heero, noting the pale look in the early morning light. "By the same token," he said strongly, turning away, but standing perfectly still. "The same voice that would fight to say 'No', is the same that makes the choice to say 'Yes'." He waited in the silence, knowing now that Heero was on following his careful scolding. "The chance to say 'Yes' is empowering, and making that choice _for_ her can do more harm than good. Though it is not so cruel as to press forward, ignoring the 'No' she should have a chance to say, to turn her away without asking could easily confirm the fear of choosing inside of her and the obnoxious lie that she is no longer desirable."

Heero's eyes bore into the back of Quatre's head for several silent minutes, before weakening and falling away as his thoughts turned inward. Perhaps Relena had discussed the _entire_ evening with Quatre, but his offense waned when he considered her feelings; turning her away must have seemed insensitive. Could it be that his choice to protect the woman he loved had actually _hurt_ her?

Suddenly Quatre sighed, pressing forward up the path and into clear view of the house. The kitchen light was on, and Relena's silhouette could be seen, moving in and out of the room. He looked back to Heero, allowing him to take the lead as they made their way to the back door.

Heero entered first, sizing her up as she turned abruptly to him. Relena's hair was tossed into messy ponytail, and she'd switched her sleepwear for a pair of oversized sweats. Heero immediately got the impression that she was trying to hide in the clothing, but he found her frame as attractive this morning as it had been, while in a much lighter material, the night before.

"There you are," she whispered, as though to scold, but her tone revealed a slight sense of relief from panic. "I was wondering—" She trailed off when her eyes fell on Quatre's face entering with a smile.

"Morning, beautiful," the blond man said as he walked right up, kissing her atop the head.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered in a rotund voice. "I figured Heero would be up as early as I was, so I crashed your place." He leaned close, winking at her. "I was wrong," he whispered.

She finally smiled, shaking her head as she went into the kitchen with her empty coffee cup. A sharp glint in her eye called Quatre to her. She turned on the sink, lowering her voice, so it would have less amplitude than the running water. "You didn't tell him—?"

Quatre furrowed his eyebrows. "No," he lied. "Of course not." Deep inside, he assured himself that this was one of the few times he would go between them, and they were better off not to know that there was a mediator, at all.

Relena narrowed her eyes on him before glancing over his shoulder at an approaching Heero.

"Has Benjamin waken up, yet?" Heero asked, stealing the conversation so Quatre could escape the interrogation and leave the room.

"Yes," she answered, quietly, turning her attention to the dish in her hand. "He's already eaten and been put back to bed."

Heero studied her strikingly gaunt face for several quiet seconds. "You didn't sleep very well," he observed.

Relena grimaced, biting back the urge to make any number of snide remarks. She took a deep breath to steady her emotions. "No," she answered in a natural voice, before lowering her tone, again. "Will you be coming to bed tonight?" Her voice shook slightly with insecurity. There was no agreement that her bed was where he would be expected to sleep, and after the evening before, she wasn't sure it would be what he wanted.

He waited until she turned off the valve and set the cup in the strainer before he answered. "If you'd like," Heero said.

Relena gave him a weak smile, nodding. "I would like that," she said.

Gently, he reached out, his fingertips making hesitant contact with her skin as he brushed her hair from her face. "You're stressed."

She felt herself blush slightly as she closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Tomorrow you should have a day for yourself," Heero commented. "I'll handle everything with the baby. You just go, get a massage or go shopping, and relax."

Relena looked up at him, puzzled.

"It will do you good," he answered.

Finally she broke into a full, glowing smile, again, throwing her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she squealed, capturing his lips in an excited, unexpected kiss. Her cheeks and ears flushed instantly at the contact and she pulled away, her insecurities rising, again. "Sorry."

He shook his head, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close. "Have fun tomorrow," he said sternly. "I'll handle everything."

She grinned, again, gently pulling away and making her way out of the kitchen to find Quatre.

Heero turned his face out, looking up to the sky through the kitchen window. He silently sank into thought, allowing the wave of guilt to overtake him as he considered how he'd just manipulated her so easily.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: What? Another one? See, what had happened was…I just couldn't put it down! I really do know the next chapter of Pink Ribbons. I do! I just need to get the words right. In the mean time…

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not Gundam Wing<strong>

"Are you sure about this?" The tall blond man asked the Chinese agent.

"Yes," the younger one growled. "He said he'd taken care of it."

"And you believe him?"

"Of course I do," he answered in a scoffing voice. He gave two strong knocks on the door before turning the opened latch.

"Why here?" Protested the older, his ice blue eyes scanning the large home before they entered.

"If I had my guess," the Chinese one replied as he pushed the entrance ajar. "I'd say he's babysitting."

"I'd hardly call it babysitting," a deep voice said from inside. As his guest wandered into the foyer, they found him standing over a couch in the library, a small child cradled to his chest with a bottle of milk propped gingerly in his mouth. "I'm not getting paid for this," he remarked, nodding to them.

Wufei grinned in amusement and Zechs hesitated as he slowly closed the distance.

"Should he even be here?" Zechs asked in a disapproving tone as he eyed the child like a stray dog who'd mistakenly wandered into the fine estate.

Heero's eyes were strong and intolerant as he took on his old rival. "It's his home," he replied. "You're the one who's trespassing."

Zechs straightened, narrowing his glare on Yuy.

Heero rolled his shoulders back, slowly taking the empty bottle from his charge's mouth and setting it on the table. He lowered himself to the couch, his eyes never truly leaving the uncle until the baby was propped onto his knee, leaning his chest into the grown man's spread hand, as Heero gently but firmly pat his back to release the excess air.

Visibly angered by the child's presence, Zechs looked away, refusing to give ground to the argument that the infant was, in fact, his family, now.

After several minutes, Heero sighed, rolling his eyes before turning his attention to the burping child, just in time to see spit up on his hand and the couch, barely missing his thigh. "Feel better?" He asked in soft sarcasm, tilting his head to look at the boy. He grabbed the thin blanket that was draped over his shoulder and wiped the excess milk off of his fingers and the cushion, grimacing at the spot left behind on the upholstery.

A small spark lit in Heero's eyes as he stood to his feet. In a determined stride, he rounded the couch, shoving the baby forcibly into Zechs's arms and quickly passing the former prince as he signaled for Wufei to follow him. "I'll have to get a warm rag to clean that or Relena will have a fit," he said, leaving no room for argument before he and Wufei disappeared around the corner.

Zechs wasn't sure how or why, but he found himself standing alone in his sister's library with the burden his sister, ever the martyr, had somehow chosen to carry for the next eighteen years. He held the baby at arms' length for several, increasingly long seconds, until his slack in training forced him to pull the squirming thing closer to brace his lift. Determined, he looked everywhere in the room except toward the strange gurgling and cooing sounds at his fingertips, but nothing was going to quiet the gentle calls.

Finally, he peeked at the child from the corner of his eyes. Immediately, his nephew smiled in the triumph. Zechs looked pointedly away, again.

Small fingertips began to scrap at his wrists as the fat, little hands pulled at the cuffs of his sleeves. Unintentionally, he looked, again. Under charcoal locks, the boy's Peacecraft eyes twinkled with curiosity as he made out the jewels inset in his uncle's cufflinks. Another laugh did him in.

Zechs smiled.

Sensing the approval of his matriarch, the child looked up into the ice blue eyes that studied him. The man holding him was bringing him closer and soon, he was able to touch the face that finally began to look gently on him. Little, soft fingertips with paper-thin nails grabbed at the blond man's face, pressing at the crease of his mouth until he was able to curl his digits in, feeling the textures of his uncle's tongue and teeth.

The mouth suddenly parted more, bearing teeth, not as a threat but as amusement. The young one looked at the smile with true awe, studying the features of happiness, from the mouth to the cheeks to the eyes. Looking back at the whole picture, Benjamin returned the gesture, smiling and laughing with joy.

"You look just like your mother," the man sighed, still grinning as he shook his head.

His face sank into seriousness as he looked carefully over the baby. With Yuy in the picture, he figured there shouldn't be too many questions. In this light, the child's hair didn't look so different than that of Relena's guardian. Surely if he stuck it out for the long run, the infant would always be assumed to have been Heero's own, but sticking it out for the long run likely meant marriage, and was Heero actually up for that? He'd never been the type of person to anchor down in one place. Would this accident—no; this child—be all it took to finally bring the wandering heart home to stay? He had handled the Benjamin with such a careful and practiced touch, but was it permanent?

"Relena," Zechs whispered aloud. "I hope you know what you're doing."

:::

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Wufei eyed Heero with suspicion. "How'd you get her out of the house?" He asked.

"I have my ways," Heero answered dryly, as he turned on the hot water and grabbed a dishrag from a nearby drawer.

"Hn," Wufei grunted. "You seem to have taken a liking to the kid."

Wufei caught the microtwitch in his comrade's cheek, similar to a smirk.

"He has his mother's charms, I suppose," Heero admitted. "He's a peacemaker, and hard to resist." He held the terrycloth under the water, saturating it with moisture.

"I'm sure Zechs can resist," Wufei commented, crossing his arms.

Heero turned with a knowing look in his eyes. "I'm willing to test that theory," he said in a sly tone.

Wufei met his stare with overt curiosity. "You couldn't have planned that?"

Heero shook his head. "No," he said. "But I'm never one to pass up an ideal opportunity when it lands in my lap."

"So you left the child alone with him?"

The Japanese man gave a nod.

"And you're sure Benjamin will be alive when we go back in there?"

"Shall we take a peek?" Heero asked, narrowing his gaze with mischief.

He turned off the faucet, leading the Chinese agent to the entrance, so they could each strain to see just how the child and his uncle were getting along. In the library, barely visibly, the tall blond man toyed with the little boy on his lap, satisfying the baby's curiosity as he let him gum on his uncle's hands, chin and pale hair. The sight was unusual enough, but the added genuine smiles and twinkling eyes of the older man made the scene nearly unbelievable.

Wufei pursed his lips, bowing his head to his battle buddy as a signal of submission. Accepting the surrender, Heero led them back to where Zechs and Benjamin were waiting.

"So," Heero said in a strong voice as he entered the area. "I take it you've had time to begin the investigation?"

"As a matter of fact," Wufei answered. "We have a rather promising lead."

Heero scrubbed away at the wet spot on the couch, listening intently as Wufei began to explain.

"Finding the perpetrator's identity was no problem," Agent Chang continued. "He's already in the Preventers' system. Nikolai Papandreou was incarcerated for a plot to extort the Minister of Finance, some five years ago. He'd been also suspected of several assaults, but never convicted. Last year, he was released on parole, but he violated that parole at the time of the attack. He hasn't been seen since, and theories are that he's fled the planet."

Heero closed his eyes as he leaned his elbows on his knees, turning inward in disapproval.

"There's more," Zechs added, steadying the child on his thigh.

Heero nodded, not looking up.

"Papandreou's cell mate for those last two and a half years had some inside information on Relena's daily life; and also may have given the crime motive."

With a deep breath Heero lifted his head, turning his full attention to Zechs.

"Jeremy Rivera."

:::

When Relena walked in the door, she was greeted by the sound of her son's laughter as he played with a man—but the voice was not that of Heero. Overcome curiosity, she inched her way into the library, where, to her surprise, she found her brother playing with Benjamin.

"Milliardo?"

The prince looked relatively surprised, himself, at the intrusion, but he quickly covered his broken pride with a confident grin. "Relena. We were wondering when you'd be back."

The sound of the oven opening in the distance preceded an overwhelming of her senses. Whatever savory dish awaited her, she was pretty sure it was Mediterranean.

Zechs smiled at her reaction to the smell. "Heero seems to have an affinity for cooking," he commented, pulling his nephew close as he stood to his feet. "You're lucky," he whispered suggestively.

The inference of the comment didn't slip past her. Her face beamed at the hint. Heero Yuy's affections were showing, and she was always excited to see what new, gentle attention he would show her next.

She turned her attention back onto the blond man. "So, Dear Brother. Have you and my son finally kissed and made up, then?"

Milliardo eyed the boy with interest. "He's just his mother's child," he sighed. "No one could hate such a face." Gently, he brushed the boy's bangs from his forehead. "Besides, I suppose he _could_ pass for Yuy's."

Relena smiled, taking the young boy into her arms.

He called and laughed with excitement to see her, quickly grabbing to free her from her shirt.

Relena blushed at the request. "Well," she said calmly. "I suppose I should feed him and put him down for the night. Will we be seeing you again, soon?"

"Of course," her brother answered, giving her the softest look as he touched her cheek.

Relena felt the tears sting her eyes as she smiled, truly grateful for the moment. "Oh, Milliardo," she choked, falling into his embrace.

Zechs held her a moment, kissing her head kindly. "Good night, Baby Sister," he said as he reluctantly pulled away.

Relena nodded, carrying her son away, to the bedroom. As she changed his diaper after his late night feeding she finally heard the front door close behind the former prince and colonel. She assumed his delay was likely a conversation with her guardian, and thought nothing more of the time the former rivals spent together. After another few minutes, she'd sung her baby a lullaby and put him down to bed, and then she tiptoed down toward the dining area.

Rounding the corner, she found a table awaiting her, fully set for dinner for two, a tall candlestick welcoming her and Heero, standing over it, filling two crystal glasses with a vintage Merlot. Immediately, she forgot all about Heero's triumph with her brother and the questions she had about the visit. Only one thing was on her mind.

"What is all this?" She asked is astonishment.

Prussian blue eyes glistened in the candlelight as his intense gaze fell on her. He silently set down the glass, crossing the room to greet her. He took her hand and gently led her to a seat, holding it like a perfect gentleman, so she could sit down. Relena gawked at him as he circled the table to sit opposite her, signaling her to relax and enjoy the meal.

"I doubt it would be a surprise if I admitted that the dynamic of our relationship is changing, Relena."

She blushed. _This_ conversation had been a long time coming.

He took his time finding words, making sure that his point was clearly communicated. "I want to see that you are treated—correctly," he said. "_I_ want to treat you right."

"And this," she asked, gesturing at the table. "Is for me?"

"I suppose it seemed like a logical first step."

"So this is—a date?"

Heero sighed. "A date."

Relena's face lit with joy and anticipation. This could be the beginning of something wonderful.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

"Papandreou. Start talking," Heero said sternly to the prisoner.

Jeremy looked at the picture of his former cellmate with a small grin, before turning his ice blue eyes back up to Heero. "I heard you were dismissed from your duties after my capture, old friend."

Heero leaned back, eyeing the prisoner. "I am not your friend," he answered.

The cool eyes looked lazily around the room, noting Wufei with disinterest before settling on Zechs. "Back from the dead, I see? Apparently the little minx still had some secrets she didn't bother to mention."

Zechs looked away, refusing to be affected by the taunting.

"So whatever did bring you back, Yuy?" He asked, returning his attention to his initial target.

"Where is he?" Heero said, reminding Jeremy of the task at hand.

"What's this I hear about Relena taking time off of work?" Jeremy asked in a grating voice. "Did the snotty whore finally lighten up on the job after someone popped her cherry?"

Suddenly, Jeremy's world disappeared in a blinding white and red flash, followed by a blackness which took its time fading out, to blurry vision. The pain radiating from the left side of his jaw was accompanied by the distinct taste of blood. When he realized what was rolling around on his tongue, he spit the molar out, losing his smile for the first time since he'd arrived. Pain from the lost tooth radiated through his skull, but he was determined not to be humbled.

Looking to see who'd hit him, he was surprised that it was the Chinese agent, whom he had never seen before. "And I thought we were going to play good cop-bad cop," he snorted.

Zechs spoke up from the back. "Heero _is_ the good cop. He's certainly the most disciplined of us," he admitted.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "You can't kill me," he sneered. "It's against the rules."

"Care to test that theory?" Wufei growled.

"And what exactly is the harlot to you?"

Wufei turned his nose up at the attempted assassin.

"Oh. Is she sleeping with you, too, now?" That dark smile was back.

"You will show the Foreign Minister respect in my presence," Wufei said in a commanding tone.

Every fiber of Jeremy's being wanted to challenge him, but his cowardice won out. In defeat, he turned his attention to the picture. "You're not going to find Papandreou," he answered. "He was planning to disappear. He's probably halfway to Mars by now—if not more."

"What drove him to this attack?" Heero pressed.

"Well, he was looking for the final thrill," Jeremy answered.

"And you offered him my sister?" Zechs asked in a venomous tone.

Jeremy smiled, again, his teeth and lips stained with his own blood. "You wouldn't understand. Granted, it was fun and games to start with, but that bitch owed me." The darkness in his eyes grew like a psychotic flame. "I did everything she could have ever wished for months, and I didn't get a single orgasm out of it." He began a sinister snigger. "At least _someone_ did."

Wufei's temper was straining as he raised his voice. "That sick bastard _forced_ himself on her. He beat her and choked her into submission!"

The blue eyes that should have been as cool and refreshing as a cool spring sky looked up at him. "I know," he sneered, again.

Wufei lunged at Jeremy for another, more violent blow, but Heero blocked the attack. Pressing Wufei back by the shoulders, he calmed his comrade, effectively ending the harassment and the conflict at once. "You'll get your chance," he assured his friend, signaling for him and Zechs to exit the room first, leaving Heero alone with the prisoner.

Sensing Heero at his back, refusing to face him, Jeremy quietly said, "I guess I owe you one, now."

"Don't count on it," Heero answered in his matter-of-fact tone. "I'm protecting Wufei. When I get my shot, you _will_ pay for this." With that the soldier strode out of the room without looking back.

:::

As Heero handed Pagan his coat, near the door, his heavy thoughts were interrupted by the sudden sound of shattering glass. Both men dropped what they were doing and followed the noise up the stairs in a surprised hurry.

Heero beat Pagan by several strides, flying into Relena's room to find her alone, sitting at her vanity. The mirror was shattered in a web like pattern, out from just below center, where she had seen her own face. There was a light residue of blood leaking out of her skin on the knuckles of her right hand and Relena's face was buried in her hands to try to contain the sobs.

As Pagan entered, Heero gave him a curt nod, communicating his control of the situation, and affectively dismissing the butler. He didn't turn back to the distraught princess until the door shut behind them.

Silently he stepped into the bathroom, retrieving a cool, wet rag. He knelt before her, taking her hand and gently dabbing at the wound to clean the blood and glass away.

Relena's entire body was trembling, victim to some kind of self-destructive, emotional explosion. Heero swallowed back the questions on why she would have hurt herself, or what she saw that made her so angry, and finally looked up at her, intentionally conveying only his kindness.

He was met with apprehension, which she followed with still more tears. Something about the warmth of his love made the pain and self loathing worse. Heero would never judge her the way that she judged herself, but the cleansing reality was as painful as iodine blotted onto a fresh wound. The healing powers were unbeatable, but the pain of the application was excruciating.

Sensing the depth of the broken heart, Heero pulled gently on her hand, guiding her to the floor, where he could hold her in his arms. Relena muffled her cries into his shirt, unable to find words for the pain. She once found her reflection beautiful, seeing her smile and her own gentle nature in one glance, but now in the silence, all she could see was the ugliness of a woman she hated. A woman she could never forgive—never love, again.

:::

As the shadows of the room changed with the setting sun, Relena found herself still in her suitor's arms, though now curled up on the bed with his form spooned behind her. Hours must have passed between his sudden, silent entrance and this moment in the fade of the dusk sky. She had heard Benjamin's voice at one point, but before she could struggle free, Pagan had entered the nursery, shushing the child and offering him a bottle. Relena was thankful for the break, but unsure what she was supposed to do to earn it. Now she still lay emotionally exhausted, accomplishing nothing, but distinctly too tired to force herself to move.

At length, the rolled onto her back, her eyes searching Heero's face. He was so still and peaceful, she couldn't be sure if he was even awake, until she danced her fingertips up his cheekbone with a feather-light touch. Finally, he opened his eyes, focusing directly on her without hesitation. Relena grinned, playing her way through his mess brown hair with her gentle nails. As she massaged his scalp, at the crown of his head, she began to pull a slight bit, leading his lips close to hers. Her lids fell heavily shut as his breath mingled with hers, welcoming his soft kiss.

His hand, which had been resting casually on her waistline, tightened its grip, rubbing up to her ribs and back as he coaxed her toward the intimacy. In response he could feel her smile against his lips, parting her mouth and allowing their tongues to dance. His fingers pushed down, lower, to her hip bone, gripping her close with desire. As the kiss deepened, still more, his breaths came with a touch of growl, insisting on her attentions. Relena moaned with enjoyment, allowing her hormones to carry her forward, until she found herself on her back, Heero holding himself over her with one knee between her legs, where his thoughts were quickly leading him.

As though waking from one dream to a nightmare, Relena was suddenly aware of her position and her inability to stop what was happening. His lips left her own, nipping and sucking at her jaw and throat, and her eyes came open. Her lungs gasped for air with a painful lack of satisfaction. Panic rushed her body, numbing her from the pleasant sensations he was trying to build. Anxiety knotted in her belly, drowning her in nausea. His arms and legs left her no escape, his presence creating the sensation of being trapped. She no longer felt the joy she'd wanted when she started kissing him. The only thing she could feel was sheer terror.

Heero noticed a change in posture and action as Relena's grip tightened, the rest of her form lying perfectly still, unaffected by his ministrations. It was then that he looked to her face, finding her squeezing her eyes closed, breathing deeply as though to fight overwhelming fear.

Abandoning the curves that had tried to keep him entranced, Heero brought himself level with her eyes, leaning on one arm as he caressed her hair with his free hand. "Relena?"

She sighed, unable to speak and unwilling to face the moment.

"Look at me."

Her breath trembled as she complied. Her frightened Azure blue orbs met his peaceful midnight gaze. She swallowed, unsure what to say.

"Are you afraid?" He asked.

Relena bit her lip, trying to shake her head no for his comfort, but she wasn't sure she moved.

Heero moved back, allowing her to feel the space between them, encouraging her to relax. "Do you want this? Me? Now?"

She tried to nod, but again her muscles gave out, her eyes betraying the truth she wanted to keep hidden.

"It's okay," he whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. "You won't offend me."

She sighed, looking away as she tried to lasso in her emotions.

"Use your voice, Relena," he pressed. "Tell me what you want."

Tears filled her eyes, but she bit her lip.

"Say it."

"I can't," she finally choked out, shaking her head furiously. "I can't—reject you."

Taking her cue, he moved to the side, sliding his arms around her in a gentle embrace. "You don't have to worry about me," he said.

She buried her face in his shoulder, again, curling up against him. "I just—I want you. I just wish I could—"

"I know," he cooed. After a moment, he ran his fingers up her temple and through her hair, gently guiding her head to face him. "One day, Relena, when you're ready. But there's no rush."

"But—"

He shook his head, cutting her off. "In time. I promise."

Heero pressed his lips to her forehead, comforting her in his arms.

* * *

><p>AN: Sappy, I know. Really, though. It's part of the process. :-P


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I was sick, yesterday, so when I was conscious I was just laying in bed figuring out what to do next. As always, I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to let me know. ;-)

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Relena sat in the library, smiling at her son as he played at her feet. Every detail about the boy had always been so beautiful, she never could quite put her finger on what she loved the most. Everything about him, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, gave her joy.

A passing urge swept her and she rose, smiling back at him, and made her way to the kitchen. As she entered the room, she found herself underwater, surveying a shipwreck in the ocean deep. The beautiful tall ship, now scattered about the sandy floor, held only one article still intact, and she had to retrieve it. The flag of the Earth Sphere United Nations. As her faceless assistant, a masked scuba diver, offered her the flag, two strange men, pushed her aside, ceasing it for themselves.

As she stumbled back into the library, they eyed her, the flag in their hands. Their faces were clearly visible, though she'd never seen either of them before.

"You want this?" One of the men hissed as he leered at her.

Tears of desperation misted her eyes, looking to the banner she so loved.

"I'll give it to ya, pretty lady," he said, glancing back at the boy before returning his attentions to her. "But you have to give _us_ something in return." Filthy, yellow teeth peeked out from his suggesting grin as he and his companion raked her body with their eyes.

Relena flushed, her heart pounding as she could already feel their hands on her. The only things that mattered were the flag and the presence of her innocent child in the next room.

Her heart leapt at the sound of a knock on the front door. Desperately she requested a moment to see that no suspicion was raised. To her relief, the door opened to reveal Quatre.

Relena handed him the boy in a rush. "Please, take Benjamin and leave here."

"Is everything okay?" His eyes were deep with worry.

"Yes," she lied. "I'm fine. I'll be—fine. Just go."

As Relena closed the door, she finally opened her eyes in the world of the waking.

:::

It was after three in the morning. Relena felt a deep aching pain in her chest, but the violence of the nightmare had been minimal. There were not cries for help and no cold sweat to wake her beloved. Instead, she lay in the darkness, with an overwhelming sense of loss washing over her. They had taken her sense of duty—her banner. The dreams she'd loved from fifteen were suddenly as attractive to her heart as ash to a hungry tongue. They were colorless and void. Their life had been stolen.

She had rescued the boy, but what exactly had been saved? What part of herself was truly salvageable after all that she had been through.

Relena sighed, feeling Heero unconsciously tighten his hold on her through his own tired dreams. A small smile played at her lips as she gently caressed the skin of his arm. At least she had her family and her friends.

But would they ever understand her lost spirit?

:::

Relena's mind was still unfocussed, looking at the steaming cup of coffee in front of her. In the distance she could hear Heero making his way down the stairs. The tiny coos and laughter that came with him assured her that her son was coming, too. To be honest, it was a relief to know that she would be seeing him, again, so soon. She'd wanted more than anything to go to him the night before, after the dream, but she feared waking Heero would put her in a position to have to explain. On one hand, she didn't want him to think that his presence wasn't helping her manage the nightmares, as it truly was, but on the other, she understood quite well what the object of larceny in the dream represented. She and Heero had worked together so hard to create this nation of peace, and she couldn't bring herself to admit that her part in the dream was dead.

By the time he'd rounded the corner, Relena was not surprised to find Heero porting his usual stoic expression.

"Your son misses you," he said.

She grinned sleepily, reaching out and accepting the boy. Immediately, the hungry little man was tearing at the neckline of her pajamas, desperate to satisfy his hunger. Relena laughed, complying with the request.

Heero sat across the breakfast nook from her, looking pensively into her eyes. "You didn't sleep well."

She looked away. "Sometimes I don't," she offered.

He grunted, looking out the window. "You know you can tell me anything," he suggested.

Her silence confirmed his suspicion.

Behind them, they heard a knock at the door, followed by the sound of Pagan's greeting. Within seconds a tall American man, with a sing braid of thick, dark brown hair hanging to his thighs, came bouncing around the corner with _way_ too much energy for the morning.

"Hey, guys! It's—" He noticed Relena's state of undress, jaw dropping for a moment, before turning his back blushing. "—Apparently breakfast time," he mumbled.

Around from behind him, a raven haired petite young woman appeared, blinking her big blue eyes.

"Hilde," Relena greeted with her first full smile of the day.

"Lena," the other said softly, quietly approaching and greeting her old friend with a kiss on the cheek.

Heero remained still and statuesque, ignoring the dramatic overreaction of his former comrade.

"Does she do this all the time?" Duo asked him.

Heero peered at the other man from the corner of his eye. "A few times a day on average."

"Weird."

Heero sighed, closing his eyes as he droned out his argument. "There's nothing strange about it, actually. Humans have been doing it for thousands of years. All sorts of animals do it, as well. It's nothing more than nursing the young. I don't understand what bothers you about it."

Duo stared at him for a moment, blinking as his thoughts slowly turned inside his head. "Well, maybe I was never breastfed," he said, suddenly. "I _was_ an orphan after all."

Heero turned to face him. "And that makes you special, anymore? Most of us were orphans. Your argument is invalid."

Duo dropped his shoulders. "Maybe I'm just uncomfortable looking at Relena's tits," he grumbled. Squeezing his eyes shut, he turned over his shoulder to aim his grating tone at her. "Can we like, maybe, wrap it up? Or cover up?"

Relena rolled her eyes as her son unlatched himself. "He's done, Duo," she said, handing him off to Hilde to be burped.

The man's head dropped in melodramatic relief.

"I'm glad to see both of you," Relena said as she finished the last button of her shirt. "I've missed you."

"And we've miss this handsome little bundle of joy," Hilde said, wiping Benjamin's mouth. "He's gotten so big."

"Yeah," Relena whispered nostalgically. "They grow pretty fast."

Duo nudged Heero, gesturing toward the back door. Heero nodded, accompanying his old friend away from the girls. Relena followed him with her eyes, answered with the smallest, secret smile before he shut the door between them.

After a few minutes of putting distance between them and the house, Duo looked back over his shoulder to make sure they were alone before he spoke. "I want in," he said quietly, in his less-than-usual, serious tone.

Heero turned to his friend, contemplating how to throw him off of the trail, but Duo wouldn't hear of it.

"I know you and Zechs are up to something, and I'm pretty sure Wufei's in on it, too. I want in."

"Duo—"

"Heero, she's my friend, too. Keep in mind that I've known Relena as long as you have. Just because I'm not _in love_ with her, doesn't rob me of the right to avenge her."

"You don't want to have the burden of revenge weighing on your mind," Heero answered. "Trust me."

"What he did to her wasn't right."

Heero stiffened. The subject more than angered him when it came up.

"Heero, just let me help."

He shook his head.

"I might be useful. Come on?"

Heero sighed. "I don't want blood on your hands."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"That's not the point. Killing is over for us, and I won't allow you to go back on that."

Duo looked at him with serious concern. "That's not your choice to make."

"Duo—"

Duo shook his head, stepping closer to make his point. "My choices are my own. I don't much want to kill again, either, as a rule, but I won't let _this_ go unpunished. Dammit, Heero. She's a sister to me, and I'm not going to let him get away with this!"

"He won't," Heero said sternly, looking sharply in Duo's eyes.

"Let me in."

Heero looked away. He really couldn't stop Duo from making his own choice on this.

"Hey. What's with this rumor I hear about you and Lena, anyway?" Duo said in a light tone, changing the subject. He turned his shoulders from his old friend, scratching his head as he lifted the mood. "Story is that you two are finally an _item_?"

Heero's posture relaxed, his face gently lifting as he considered the change in the dynamics of his and Relena's relationship.

"Ah," Duo said. "I _thought_ so! Hey, need a babysitter, buddy? You and Lena can get out, tonight."

Heero looked at him, checking his seriousness.

Duo smiled. "It ain't no thing. Hilde _loves_ kids." He looked suddenly serious, again. "Go be alone with your woman," he said, ending the argument with a wink, as he walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Stormy, I put a "Mary Sue" in my story, just for you. ;-) At about six hundred and eleven words in, I believe.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Relena was startled when a local civilian stopped her and asked for a picture. She painted on her kindest smile and accepted the offer, but when she turned to face Heero, again, she was struggling to hide her embarrassment. How long had they been out, walking? She didn't realize she'd been in such a fog until she was yanked down by the elder woman. Now she had to try to play off her zombielike behavior to her companion.

"Don't worry about it," he said stoically, reading her thoughts.

Relena felt her posture droop, a flush filling her cheeks.

Heero's hand wrapped firmly but gently around her arm, pulling her a fraction of an inch to get her full attention—or what she could muster of it. "Don't hide anything from me," he said sternly.

Guilt filled her eyes, but she tried to swallow it back.

Heero nodded at her silence, letting her go and continuing on. Relena took a deep breath, following after, putting herself back together as she approached him. There was a small hitch in his step when her arms wrapped around his elbow, pulling her body close to his. He looked down, only his eyes showing his approval, but it was enough to assure her that he was not holding grudge.

In spite of her best efforts, Relena could hardly concentrate on even her food throughout dinner. Somehow pan seared sea bass had lost its appeal after the tormenting dreams of the night before. If she couldn't tell him, who could she tell? It's not like she really _had_ to tell him. It was her dream. Why couldn't she just process through it on her own? Most people do, right?

"Are you worried about Benjamin?" He asked, breaking her from her reverie, again.

Relena blinked, with wide eyes. "Not really. Why?"

A dark spark in Heero's eyes indicated humor. "Duo's watching him."

Relena giggled. "I think he'll have all his parts when we get home."

Heero grinned, sipping his wine without breaking eye contact. "One can hope."

She smiled, smoothing the wrinkles in the napkin which lay over her lap.

Heero placed the glass down, still studying her. "How do you feel about this L3 situation?" He asked.

Relena shrugged. "They'll just have to accept the fact that someone else is going to handle it, this time." The answer came out slightly more emotional than she had planned, but it was just a glimpse of the anxiety that was pushing at gut. She looked down, studying the mint of the silverware after she took a bite of the tender meat. "I can't do everything," she whispered, lifting her cool water to her lips.

Heero sat back in the seat, observing her posture and facial expressions. She sensed his apprehension, and tried to prepare herself.

"Benjamin?"

She looked up, questioning him. "What about him?"

He leaned forward, lowering his voice. "They're asking."

"It's not their concern."

He tilted his head, opening his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"No, Heero. I won't. I refuse to allow them to continue this stupid game. I don't care if he's adopted or the spawn of Satan. He is my child, I _am_ a single mother, and they just have to accept that."

He narrowed his eyes, looking intently at her.

"I am twenty five years old, Heero Yuy, and I will take as long as I like dating someone before we decide to get married—which is nothing against _you,_ mind you; as I'm sure you'll make a fine husband—but when, who, and how I manage my family is my business, Heero. Not Minister Thatcher's, not Ambassador Monet's and _certainly_ not Mary Sue's from down on Mulberry Street."

Heero blinked. "You do realize that you just ranted—the whole thing about Satan's spawn—out loud, in a restaurant?"

Relena straightened, looking around at the other patrons, who were all very quietly trying to appear like they were minding their own business. She bit her lip, closing her eyes with a sigh. Man, she must be a mess to burst out like that in public, and against the Foreign Minister and an Ambassador, no less.

"I can just see next week's tabloids, now. Vice Minister's Child; Gift from Hell."

Relena started laughing, completely humiliated, but relieved for a light touch of humor. "I love you," she finally choked out through teary eyes.

He nodded, spending the remainder of the meal in silence, simply watching her with a warm glow on his face.

:::

"Duo?" Hilde called at the top of her lungs.

No answer.

"Baby, I need your help!" She called, again, stressing the urgency of the situation.

Finally he popped his head around the corner, studying her with large, violet eyes. He held a bowl of popcorn in one hand, and was stuffing his face with the other. "Uhuh," he said through a mouth full of food. "I zon't—I zon't—"

Hilde raised one brow in annoyance.

Duo swallowed, shaking his head. "Uhuh. I don't do diapers."

The raven haired woman huffed, scowling at him. "I don't need you to change him. Just hold him here. I have to go and get a diaper. I _stupidly_ forgot. I'm sorry."

He shook his head, but approached her, in spite of himself.

"Please, baby?" She said, softly, offering a small pout.

Duo grimaced. "Okay. But hurry up. I don't want to sit here and hold Relena's filthy, naked child for long."

"You don't have to pick him up," she said. "Just hold him in place, like this. That way he won't fall off of the coffee table."

"Why didn't you change him on the floor?"

"Because it's easier to reach him on the table. Just—hold him!"

"Alright," he whined, taking the naked child firmly by the forearms and gently pinning him down.

The baby stared, wide eyed, at the Gundam pilot, learning his face before breaking out into a laugh.

Intrigued, Duo leaned in. "Aw. You're too much, aren't you? Now I see how you got that manic depressive guy to hang around for so long."

The baby cooed.

"Look at that smile," Duo flattered him, lowering his face, so his nose touched the boy's.

Benjamin squealed loudly with excitement.

"Do you like your Uncle Duo?" He asked, shaking his head so his bangs were ticking the boy's face. Duo was smitten.

The infant laughed still harder. He was kicking and calling in excitement, loving the attention and play.

Amid the fun and games, Duo heard a small whooshing sound, his own collarbone growing suddenly warm and wet. Without thinking, he straightened, accidently moving his face into range. Tightening his grip on the boy with one hand, he threw up the other to break the stream and successfully aiming it back at the assaulting weapon, but his face was already saturated with the warm liquid. Duo spit, clearing his mouth of the salty urine and trying to think clearly.

From the bottom of the stairwell, he slowly became aware of Hilde's voice. She clung to the banister, though her body was prostrate on the floor, her hand holding her stomach through wails of laughter. "YOU—HAVE—THE WORST—LUCK!"

Duo wiped his face with his free forearm, his face suspiciously missing his usual jolly expression. "I hate kids," he groaned, spitting, again, for good measure.

:::

In spite of her bout of quiet depression, Heero kept Relena busy late into the night, only bringing her home long after he was sure that the Maxwells had retired. Quietly he helped her out of her coat and led her to their room, allowing her to settle in. After his evening walk through the grounds, cunningly inspecting the manor security, (which he happily noted had apparently been already secured by another pilot that night,) Heero returned to the boudoir to find Relena relaxed in the window, under the moon, with a book in her hand.

Relena smiled at him, setting the book aside as she rose to greet him. She moved no closer as he closed the door, her eyes calling to him. He came to her, slipping his arms around her waist as he pulled her in for a soft, deep kiss. Relena clung to him, allowing her lips to trail down his jaw and neck, sending powerful sensations through his body.

"Wait," he said, pushing her back, against the wall.

Relena's eyes searched him. "Have I upset you?"

Heero's eyes shown kindness, as he brushed her hair from her face. "Tell me, Relena."

She blinked. She knew what he wanted, but she was willing to act the fool, if it might save her the pain. "I love you."

He stepped closer. "Tell me what's wrong," he whispered very sternly.

"Heero, please—" She could feel the tears coming. Her throat closed as she shook her head, raising her hands between them.

"Tell me." He took her wrists, disallowing her the option to fight. When she blinked free the first tears, his dark blue eyes were pleading with her.

"I—can't," she choked, collapsing into his arms.

Heero pulled her close, guiding her nearly limp body to the bed, where she could rest against the pillows in her trembling fit.

"They stole it, Heero."

"Who?"

She shook her head, tears pouring freely down her cheeks. "The men. The men in my dream."

"What did they take?"

She closed her swollen eyes, looking away. "I tried to keep it, but it—I couldn't save it. I tried."

"Relena—"

She brought her fingertips to her lips, trying to seize her thoughts so she could communicate clearly. She shook her head a last time, swallowing so she could tell him. "There were men in the house. They stole—my flag."

"Your flag?"

"The banner—the Nation. They stole my loyalty. My desire."

"It was just a dream—"

"But it wasn't, Heero." Her eyes met his, her body shaking. He'd always idolized her. He called her his strength. He considered her the hope for all of humanity. And now, she had fallen off of her pedestal. "I don't think I want to do this, anymore," she whispered, honestly fearing his response.

Heero blinked, leaning away from her. "A single nightmare doesn't take your drive, Relena."

"My drive's _been_ gone, Heero. The dream has been dying since—" Her voice trailed off. "First, what happened; and then the pregnancy and the baby; the pressure from the delegates; and now the people are turning against me. I just can't do this, Heero. I cannot face them, anymore."

"Maybe if you take time—"

"I don't want _time_, Heero. I want freedom. I want to be a _person_, Heero. My own person."

"You are."

She buried her face in her hands. "I want to quit."

"You don't know that."

"But what if I do?"

He looked away, without an answer.

"Heero Yuy, will you still love me if I cannot _do_ this anymore?"

Heero closed his eyes, swallowing. His face showed only the slightest signs of sadness and regret. When he looked back at her, his eyes were unreadable.

"Heero?"

He sighed, reaching to cup her cheek in his hand. "How could you ever doubt my love for you?"

Relena's eyes lit as his lips came down over hers, again. Relena pulled him close, hands roaming with her lips attracted to his skin, as if by a magnet.

"I love you," he whispered, pulling her gown free from between them.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Oh, OH! Before I forget, I want to send a shout out to my AMAZING beta reader, who saved my life, today. Thank you StormyMonday! If you like it, thank her, because this chapter was all in a funk until I emailed her. ;D

-Bear

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

_I love you_.

He'd said it. Over and over and over again. Something about those simple words, so short and so sweet, made the night, their long awaited intimacy, so powerful.

Or was it the look in his eyes when he said it? The way that he kissed her? In her life Relena had never felt so needed as that moment. He looked as though he would fall to his death, should she push him away. He looked as though he would _fear_ the same. He kissed her, like a man encountering water after a long deprivation. Not passing interest. Not just want. Need. Desperate need.

His strokes, his touches, had started so tenderly, but the contact turned nearly violent by the end. He required something thoroughly and completely, and only she could supply it.

It was something of the details, or perhaps the culmination of all. It was healing. It was life. Whatever it was, Relena finally knew, _this_ was making love, and she'd never want to be without it, again.

She stirred in the bed, slowly waking at the sound of his voice, whispering comfort. Blinking, she noticed that her back, where he lay against her as they faded, was cold in the night air. He was no longer clinging to her.

"It's alright," his voice said.

Relena rolled back to look, but she was alone in the bed.

A small coo brought her to face her nightstand, again.

"There you go," the speaker said in her lover's gentle tone.

Relena smiled, slipping out of the bed. The cool air tickled her naked skin, making her uncomfortable, but peeking in on the boys would be worth it. She grabbed a silk robe and crept into the hall.

As Relena rounded the corner, she found Heero there, his back to her, looking down over the waking infant. He was wearing the boxers he'd discarded as they tumbled into the bed, but his back was bare.

Relena couldn't take her eyes off of the gentle ripple of the muscles under his dark, golden skin as she approached. Something inside her, something akin to awe, made her reach out her hand, running it along the claw marks she'd created, cascading over his shoulder blades. She ran her thumb soothingly over the reddened area, down the panels of muscle tissue, and followed his contours around his waist, pulling her body flush against his.

Heero showed no surprise at the touch or intrusion. He simply responded by taking the hand that Benjamin had been playing with and placing it over her own, clasped arms, at his belly.

"I love you," she whispered, closing her eyes and leaning her head against his.

Heero shushed the child, stepping away from Relena and carrying the heavy lidded boy back to his bed. After a moment, the child was tucked and Heero stepped back to Relena's side, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. His eyes glowed in a way that she hadn't seen since he'd left her on the Libra.

"How do you feel?" He asked softly.

"Sore," Relena chuckled. "But elated."

Heero rested his forehead on hers, silently allowing his eyes to dance with her own.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, unable to still her hands from trailing over his chest and abs. "I just can't _stop_." She was mesmerized by the change in sensation between touching him before and touching him, now. Would everything about him change, the way the feel of his skin seemed to? "Your skin feels so good."

Heero breathed deeply and quietly, allowing her to absorb his closeness.

"Want to come to bed with me?" She finally purred.

Relena could see him smile for an answer. He released her, walking over and flipping the light off. Relena couldn't see or hear him, until his arms were around her, again, lifting her in the darkness. Relena squeaked in surprise when his lips came over hers, softly, but demandingly. After another moment, his mouth moved away, trailing hot kisses down her neck. She laughed as he carried her away from the boy, who was likely now asleep, and made his way back to their room.

:::

Slipping out of the limo, Relena held her large hat tight to her head, scanning the area from behind her dark sunglasses; holding true to her Hepburnesque disguise. So far, so good. No one recognized her.

Breathing felt hard through her anxiety as she quietly entered the mostly deserted hallways of the small office building. The whole place smelled of mothballs, which somehow, though unrelated to any memory of importance, did nothing for her emotional state. She simply did _not_ want to be here.

Sighing, she walked over to the directory, scanning through the names and locations. Dr. Breslin was on the fifth floor. Relena nodded and turned, searching for the elevator. The rusty old box took forever getting to the bottom floor to pick her up, and creaked and shook the entire lift, taking twice as long as she would have expected.

Relena popped her head out, making sure she was alone before she crept across the hall. Silently, she thanked heaven the doctor had agreed to see her during the lunch hour, while the place was nearly empty. The last thing she needed was to be recognized.

A short, stout woman, about her own age, sat behind a glass window at the desk. The situation was definitely less than inviting, but Relena's nagging anxiety reminded her that she was, in fact, in the Psych Section of the facility. (Surely they had to be prepared in case someone violent came in.)

Relena refused to remove her façade as she accepted the paperwork, filling in the answer as best she could, and only lying about her name. As she thumbed through a magazine, she could only think of one thing. This was a mistake. Her hands shook and her stomach quivered, begging her to bolt. What would she say? What if she couldn't speak? What if he outed her? What if—?

Relena understood she was being irrational. Heero had checked the place out for her. This was safe. But she just wanted to go home.

At least she should have brought Heero along for moral support. Why did she convince him to stay home with Benjamin?

How would she ever find the strength to do this?

:::

The blond man's brown eyes were wide, staring at the Foreign Minister, unable to hide his shock. "Are you—okay?"

Relena straightened her skirt and folded her hand in her lap. There was no use beating around the bush. The only way to solve a problem was to look straight at it, right? And she did. She laid it out. Now to get started.

She looked down at him over her nose. "Of course I am," she said in a tone of control.

The man raised one eyebrow, which was a few shades darker than his own sandy hair. "Well, ma'am. If you're okay, then I suppose—"

"Wait," Relena cut in. "I'm—I'm fine," she assured him. "I just—I promised my guard I would speak with someone."

He smiled.

"Doctor Breslin, I'm sure we can come to an understanding."

The doctor sighed, leaning his weight on his elbows so he was closer to her. "Miss Relena, in order for this to work, you're going to have to let me in."

She swallowed, lifting her chin up and away, again.

"Tell me the truth," he implored.

Relena closed her eyes, folding her ankles. "Well," she said softly. "If we're going to be honest with each other, we should start with the basics."

The doctor nodded.

"The guard I refer to is—my lover, of sorts."

He sat back. "And did he sent you here because this—event—was interfering with your relationship?"

"No."

Silence fell between them for several long seconds.

"Miss Relena—"

"I know," she huffed. "I just—this is _so hard_." Her eyes showed an uncharacteristic amount of emotion.

"It's not going to be easy."

"I know."

"Why did he want you to see me?"

"He wanted me to come as soon as he found out I had been—hurt."

"But how long ago was that?"

"Over a year."

"Were you together then?"

"I don't see how that relates."

"Okay. So what took so long to make the appointment?"

Relena took a breath. "It's hard," she repeated.

The Psychologist's voice became soft, with compassion. "I understand."

"You can't possibly understand," she choked. Relena shook her head, visibly regrouping as she straightened her back and blinked her eyes free of the assaulting tears.

"Then please, _help_ me understand."

She looked away, again.

"Why did you choose to pursue this, now?"

"I'm having nightmares, again."

He nodded.

"And Heero and I just became—lovers."

"And you're afraid your memory with affect that?"

"It affects everything," she confessed.

"For example?"

"Everything. Sleep. Friends. The baby."

"The baby?"

"Yes." Her voice strained as her mind argued with her tormenting emotions.

"Can you elaborate on the baby?"

"I just—I don't want to reject him."

"Why would you reject him?"

"He's—his father is—was—"

"—The one who hurt you?"

She nodded.

"Did you know him? The father?"

"No."

"But you chose to keep the baby."

"It's not the child's fault."

He shook his head, again, looking perplexed.

"He shouldn't be punished for something he didn't do. I don't want to reject him."

"But you have?"

"I've—come close."

"How often?"

"On occasion."

"What does that feel like?"

"What is it supposed to feel like? I'm a mother. I feel guilty. I should love him! I'm his _mother_."

"Miss Relena, there's no reason to feel guilty for having hard feelings."

"But it's not his fault! _He_ didn't do this to me."

Dr. Breslin cleared his throat. "Do you nurse?"

"Yes."

"And these feelings get worse or better when you nurse?"

She was silent, looking past him. Her eyes flashed as she tried to lock up the emotion and analyze it. "Both."

He tilted his head, watching her as he listened.

Relena looked at him, seeming angered. "They're worse, sometimes, considering bringing him close, but after a few minutes, I've found that I tend to calm down."

"Okay. How else do these emotions affect your relationship with your son?"

"I don't intend to harm him, if that's what you mean."

He paused, looking into her eyes to weigh the statement. When he decided he believed her he shook his head. "I apologize. I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything."

"No," she said softly. "I understand."

The quiet crept between them, again.

"How does this—Heero—handle your son?"

"Tenderly."

"He accepts him?"

She forced a smile for an answer.

"And he knows that the boy—"

"Yes. Heero is the most supportive of my son." Her tone was final.

"What other things does this scar affect?"

"Well, I had a—memory—when I tried to return to work."

"What kind of a memory?"

Relena looked at him. "A _bad_ kind."

"Of the event?"

She pursed her lips.

"On a scale of one to ten—one being passing thought and ten being reliving the event as if in a trance—how vivid was this 'memory'?"

Relena swallowed. "Nine," she said shakily. Immediately, she felt guilty for lying. "Ten," she forced out.

The Doctor set down his pen, simply staring at her. His expression was laced with disbelief, but his eyes were deep pools of compassion. "Relena, tell me _everything_."

:::

Relena seemed dazed when she arrived home. She offered Milliardo and Heero weak smiles before practically running up the stares to her room. Both men looked after her, unsure what to say when they heard the door lock.

"Strange," Zechs commented, turning to Heero for an explanation.

The Japanese man shrugged. As desperately as he'd wanted to help her, he understood there was nothing he could do. Even coming to her side as she cried was impossible until his business with Zechs was through. "She went to see a Doctor, today. As I understand it, it's more than normal for her to be feeling less than par after a session."

The blond man nodded. "I see." He sank into the couch, dangling his fingers in range of his nephew for the boy's entertainment.

"What do you have for me?" Heero asked.

"I've done a thorough investigation on the 'Mars' lead. Papandreou did not catch a ride to Mars."

"You're sure?"

Zechs shook his head affirmatively.

"So now we just have to look—everywhere else."

Relena's brother closed his eyes. They'd find him, but he wished this would be easier. "What are we going to do when we catch him?"

"Relena made me promise not to deal with it, myself."

"Does she know we're looking?"

"No. But I still promised."

"Do you want to prosecute?"

Heero closed his eyes in thought. "No. Relena has been through enough. She doesn't need the pressure of standing before thousands of people and rehashing the event; never mind having to face the accused."

Zechs's shoulders drooped. "Then what?"

"We'll figure it out."

Zechs agreed. One way or another, this bastard was going to pay.

:::

Relena had walked to the car in a fog, and arrived home in mostly the same condition. She didn't know that simply talking about a subject could be _so_ emotionally taxing. By the time she entered her house, her brother's presence was hardly a matter of concern. The sound of his voice greeting her was grating, against the raw places in her heart and mind, so without delay she excused herself to her room, locking the world out and collapsing crying in her bed.

How could anyone expose themselves to rehearsing such a traumatic event over and over and over again, and call it therapy?

She wasn't going back there, to the doctor. She just couldn't.

* * *

><p>AN: Don't know if anyone will notice, but I switched up the order of events in this chapter after publishing. It just didn't have the right flow, so I opted to adjust it. Please R&R. Thanks!

-Bear


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry, guys. I know it's been a while. I had a hard time getting this one together, and a lot of drama at home. Lol I hope the lot of you are enjoying your summer. (That is, unless you're in the southern hemisphere, of course. Then I hope you're enjoying your winter.) I look forward to hearing ya'll feedback, soon.

Here it is. Bear written, Hubby approved.

Please R&R. Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

In the thick grey fog of Relena's slumber, a shadow man began to form over her. His image approached, arms stretching out wide to capture her, and his hands began to envelop her body. Panicked and fearing for her life, Relena struggled through her unconscious state to defend herself. Her arms and legs flailed, as she yanked them free from the chains of sleep that still kept her mind bound in confusion.

Heero dodged the elbow to his throat with practiced ease, looking only slightly surprised at the sleeping woman's sudden attack. Still struggling against an invisible enemy, she rolled to her back, kicking with vigor. This approach took more of his energy to evade, but within seconds, he'd fallen back to his haunches, just out of reach of her blows.

"Relena," he called calmly, hoping to awaken her and finally lower her defenses.

She lay still for several moments, heaving. When he reached to touch her face, again, she lifted herself off of the bed, swatting his hand away as she finally opened her eyes. Heero sat still, watching the wild look, waiting for her to recognize that she was no longer in danger.

After several minutes, a light sparked in her eyes, and they settled on him, again. "Heero?"

Heero sighed nearly invisibly with relief. "You locked me out," he said in an emotionless tone.

"I—" Searching him, she couldn't be sure if he was offended or amused or neither. "That didn't stop you."

He shook his head, smoothly crawling close to her, so he could take her tired body in his arms. "How are you?"

She was quiet for several seconds, allowing the hundreds of possible answers to run their course through her mind. "Tired," she finally whispered.

His embraced her, allowing his eyes to lose focus out the window into the late winter night. His thumb gently massaged up and down her arm in comfort, coaching her to relax in his proximity. "Don't lock me out," he scolded quietly, tightening the protective hold.

At length, he turned his head down, allowing his nose to tickle at the back of her ear as he hid gentle kisses in her hair. Relena gave way to the touch, too exhausted to care, and rolled her weight down his arm, opening her neck to him. When Heero's lips found skin, his kisses grew in intensity, becoming needy and demanding.

Deep inside, Relena considered protesting, but with her energy drained, she allowed it. Her mind and heart weren't ready to offer themselves after such a taxing ordeal, but those were the things that would satisfy him, now; and besides, he deserved the satisfaction. Heero Yuy had always done right by her.

Biting her lip she lifted her mask between herself the distracted man, offering him her body in spite of the numbness that pierced her soul.

After all, this would be the last time she'd ever lie to him. Right?

:::

The weeks passed all too quietly in the Darlian home. Winter began melting away and preparing the ground for Spring to dawn. Before he knew it, Heero was child proofing coffee tables and nightstands, and wiggling across the floors of the mansion with Benjamin, allowing the boy to win their crawling races.

It was Relena, though, that perplexed him. After the first Psychology appointment, she never pursued any more counseling, and pointedly avoided conversation about the doctor, the nightmares, or the event that berthed them. She never gave her official resignation to the government, claiming she would accomplish _this_ task first, and _that_. When Heero found out that she'd never even mentioned the life choice to Zechs, he began to suspect that she wasn't sure of her mindset, and she wasn't ready to throw herself to the wolves over it, just yet. He didn't care what choice she made, either way, as he would support her, but he hoped, for her sake, that she did choose what would make her happy, and stick to her guns about it.

Occasionally he'd have the opportunity to speak with Quatre, and he was glad when the Winner heir announced he'd be coming to town for an extended period, though the reason was much the same as Heero's concerns. Relena was there with them, but she was closing both of them out, or as Quatre put it, she was closing herself in.

Relena began secluding herself from her friends, again, and after the last advance in her relationship with Heero—becoming intimate with him—even the affections she offered him were scarce and malnourished. He continued to pursue her passions with dates and outings, but he began backing away from physical intimacy with her, as he felt her distancing herself. At times he'd give in to her persistence, hoping the empty intimacy would heal the relationship, or even just her. Physically she was there, but he could feel a distinct wall around her, disallowing him from reaching her heart.

Accepting his limited knowledge and empathy, Heero trusted Quatre's guidance, but it seemed that the drying rosebush that was their romance was quickly falling ill, and the rest of its survival was in Relena's hands. Heero intended to wait out the doubt of her emotional unavailability, but he was constantly afraid that she'd eventually push him out of her room, and possibly her home, as she seemed to be doing her heart.

Unrelenting, Heero loved her. He was not easily dissuaded by her brokenness or lack of self-confidence. Allowing the hurt between them only to fuel him more, Heero found himself growing increasingly determined in his search to find Papandreou and bring him to face the ones who loved the woman he'd hurt. It came as no surprise to Heero, of course, that the mission in its secrecy was soon a goal held by each of Relena closest friends; the Gundam pilots. Quatre knew about it all, acting as the conscience therapist of the group. Trowa stepped in, on occasion, when time permitted. Duo demanded constant updates, from his place on L2, and insisted that no one make a move without him. Wufei, of course, was the brains of the operation, carefully keeping Preventer in the dark, while also using their resources for the good of the pilots' vendetta. Finally, Zechs refused to leave town, being equally as involved as Heero, often working directly with the man he once called nemesis. The two made a perfect team, especially when the object of their mission was avenging Relena for all that she had lost in the violent attack.

One night, Heero found himself standing in Wufei's office, accompanied by Relena's brother, and the pilots of 03 and 04.

"Nothing," the tall, muscular one commented, dropping another manila file on top of the stack the men had been working through. Trowa had just recently made it into town, but he and Quatre were both involved in the last month's list of empty leads and dead ends. The fact was, the perpetrator had disappeared and they were exhausting all their resources finding him. Short of announcing his face and crime to the public, it was beginning to look like he would get away with his perverse assault, which left the lot of them feeling more than discouraged.

Heero moved to the window, looking out into the night as if for an answer.

"Where's Relena at, tonight?" Quatre asked softly, sensing his friend's tension.

"Working late. I don't expect her to beat me home."

"She's been doing this a lot, hasn't she?" Zechs commented.

Heero closed his eyes, setting his emotions aside, and left the answer pending.

"So what now?" Wufei asked the group. "We know who we want. We know he's grounded on the planet. How do we draw him out?"

"The crime was the work of a psychopath," Quatre responded. "He doesn't have a need or a driving that can draw him out."

"So we have nothing?" Zechs said, losing patience with being told they were defeated.

"Maybe not," Trowa threw in.

They all looked at him with curiosity.

"There's a chance," he continued. "However slim, that someone knows where he is. Sometimes, when you can't get your prey to take the bait, the next step is to send the poison in _to_ them."

Zechs crossed his arms. "You're saying, if we have someone who knows where to find him, we can follow them there?"

Trowa nodded.

"But who?" Wufei asked.

Seconds ticked by between them until Quatre offered the answer. "Jeremy?"

Heero's eyes sparked. It would be a risk letting Jeremy out of the slammer; but the question was if it would be worth that. "Jeremy threw us off the trail. It is possible that he was protecting Papandreou."

"But how do we get him out?" Quatre asked.

"I'll handle that," Wufei commented.

:::

Heero wasn't home when Relena's guard brought her to the door. It had been the first time, but she wasn't surprised. She may not have been as interactive as she might have been in the past, but she was observing him. There was something on his mind, intermittently, and she knew he was working on a project with the other pilots. Likely, he was also working with her brother, since the two were together more than she ever could have hoped in her younger days.

After dismissing Pagan for the night, her hands shook as she sloppily poured herself a glass of merlot. Perhaps it wasn't socially acceptable, but with as many events and people that were emotionally draining her, and the baby safely tucked away in bed, she more than deserved a glass or two. Against the urging of her empty heart, she made herself a limit of two glasses, knowing that if it came to the worst, three glasses wouldn't inhibit her enough to matter if something came up.

In seconds, she emptied the drink, which was intended to be savored, into her stomach, and was fighting tears as she filled another serving.

An irrational thought tickled her mind, questioning Heero's whereabouts, again, in light of her lack of appropriate affections toward him. Shirking it off the thought with the excuse that he wouldn't have noticed her lack of passion, she sank to the floor, cradling the crystal glass like it held a precious medicine.

Through the numbness, Relena wanted to beg God that Heero not return for a while, yet, as she didn't have the energy to paint on the smile that he so honestly deserved. The idea of his company at this point—or anyone else's—only drowned her in a nauseating anxiety. She swallowed back the confusion with another sip of burgundy liquid, trying not to think about her feelings—and losing.

Was this what depression really felt like? Dreading the company of those she'd always loved most? The relationship, at this point, was unhealthy, and she knew it. She knew, also, that it was her own doing, but she felt helpless when the fact came to her attention. With as broken as she felt inside, she couldn't much simply _tell_ him that she wasn't up to loving him, or even smiling for him, but the act of faking it was draining her like a cracked pitcher. Heero needed her, her brother needed her, her friends needed her and the baby needed her, but there was no more of her to go around. She'd rather be at work than interacting with any of them.

The worst part—where the confusion set it—was that she was _so_ lonely. She missed their company when they were gone, and she missed their companionship when they were present. She could see them when they were with her, thought she felt the wall between them, and she didn't know how to do anything but make the wall stronger and thicker.

The entire situation felt so hopeless, she wished she wouldn't have to wake up to face it, again, in the morning—or ever, for that matter.

Couldn't someone come to her and break in to get close to her, again?

"Please," she whispered in a broken voice as the tears finally broke over the threshold of her eyes. They fell, unseen, onto the tile floors below. "Someone, please. Help me."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing**

Whew! This is a tough one. I've tried to break it up for you, thought most of it flows chronologically. It's long. It's _very _dark. Not quite Chapter 9, but second worst, hands down. I realize it won't be ya'll's favorite chapter, but it's part of the story, so—don't hate me…? Apologies in advance.

Really. I'm sorry!

-Bear

* * *

><p>The morning broke like any other. Bright, morning sunlight broke past the curtains, greeting tired eyes, as birds sand a soft, mating melody to welcome the consciousness for the waking population. Relena closed her eyes, again, gently rubbing away the sleep that clouded her vision. Her body was humming and healthy, relaxed and—her pulse was beating below her belt. A smile danced on her lips at the thought. She wanted him.<p>

Gently, she turned, giving her slumbering lover a long glance. His dark hair covered his eyes, but the rest of his face was so peaceful in his coma. He looked soft, unsure, and positively harmless. Relena grinned at the unintentional disguise. Her beloved would never be one to be trifled with.

Quietly, she inched closer, running her hand up the flat of his chest. The muscles tightened under her ministrations, as her partner slowly awoke. A hand came up, capturing her wrist, before she could touch his face.

"Relena," he growled in a low voice.

She shifted her hips close, guiding one leg over his thigh, to stimulate feeling in his lower regions.

Heero sighed, blinking as he shook himself from his hibernation. A soft groan in his throat bubbled up without bidding. She found it encouraging.

"Relena," he said, again, in a warning tone.

Relena lifted her chin, barely touching the skin behind his hear with her lips. He fought the erotic chill of her breath puffing over the sensitive spot until her tongue darted out, making contact with the hidden weakness.

Heero's eyes shot open. He released her wrist, reaching down and pushing her leg back from around him. "Relena, no." His voice was stern and ungiving as he rolled away, sitting with his back to her.

Relena looked at him in shock, questioning the behavior with her eyes.

"You have to go to work," he said quietly.

Relena blinked. "I don't have a meeting until afternoon," she rebutted.

Heero tensed. "Benjamin will be up, any second, now."

"Pagan can handle him."

"Pagan should be coming to wake you. There are already people in the house; somebody's going to hear."

"Heero?" Her voice caused him to turn. She was sitting up, staring at him. She'd pulled a blanket in her hand up to her chin, so it hung like a curtain, shielding her body from his eyes.

"I have things to do, today," he continued. "I shouldn't wear myself out."

Relena nodded, backing off of the bed, so she was still farther from him. Quietly she padded to the bathroom door, her thoughts whirling. When she glanced back at him, her cheeks were stained with a blush. From his perspective, though, Heero couldn't read if it was embarrassment or fury.

"If you didn't want to have sex, you could have just said so," she said with a diplomatic smile.

Sighing, she closed the door behind her, locking herself in. Relena stepped forward, so he couldn't easily hear her movements. Things had been getting worse, between them. She knew she wasn't pleasing him, but she wasn't sure if there was anything she could do.

_Heero_, she thought with a longing. She'd never forget how gentle and kind he was the first time. Now he seemed to always be looking for an out. Why was he rejecting her?

Glancing at the mirror, she pulled the nightgown over her head. She noted the deep purple marks on her sides and lower belly, where her skin had stretch until fibers of the skin had broken. Some, even striping across her egregiously large sized breasts.

Relena frowned at her form. Just over a year ago, she had a perfect, petite shape. Now everything seemed disproportional. In her eyes, her form seemed to her to be an oversized pear. To top it off, she shook her head at her own past wishing of having larger breasts; now that they'd reached their full potential as a nursing mother, she found them gross and inconvenient. Heero didn't even show them interest. They were just—in the way. Uncomfortable and in the way.

Even if their relationship was not falling apart _because_ of her appearance, it certainly wasn't helping.

Relena stretched her neck, swallowing back tears. At least he still loved her—right?

:::

As Relena lathered her hair there was an urgent knock at the door. "Relena," Heero called, testing the locked handle. "There's a situation. You're needed immediately."

Relena felt panic fill her gut. She didn't bother to answer. He knew that she'd heard him. Instead, she rushed to finish rinsing her hair, not bothering to condition, and stumbled back into her bedroom.

Heero stood over her formalwear, which he'd laid across the bed, twisting her baby blue cravat between his fingers. The shadows in his eyes were unguarded concern and sadness—and possibly fear. Without a word, Relena dropped the towel and began layering on her attire.

Heero didn't speak until after she had donned her slacks and blouse, and was securing her hair behind her head. "There was a bombing on L3," he said as she slipped on her pale, pink jacket.

Relena's fingers shook slightly, while she pressed the lapels into place.

"It tore through the outer wall of the colony. The engineers were able to seal off the damaged sectors, saving millions of lives."

Relena secured the last button of her blouse turning to apply her throat arrangement. Before she could reach for it, Heero stepped forward, slipping the silk around the back of her neck. His eyes were focused on the material as his fingers silently worked to complete her uniform.

"How many?" She asked in a weak whisper.

Heero paused. He swallowed, refusing to look up. "It was a massive explosion, Relena."

"Heero," she hissed with urgency. "How many people were killed?"

He hesitated, adding a finishing flourish to the piece. "Colony leaders released a preliminary count of five to ten thousand."

Relena's brow furrowed. She knew his tone. He was holding back. "How many were really lost, Heero?"

He closed his eyes, turning his face from her. "Relena," he said softly, wishing he could protect her from the coming storm. "An event of this magnitude will have cost you anywhere between twenty and thirty thousand lives."

Relena paled, looking past him as she reached deep inside herself to gather her reserve strength. "Business as usual, then?" Her voice was calm as the North Sea before a storm, though her eyes were trembling pools of emotion.

Heero turned and looked at her with a softness, like a child, steeling himself as he mimicked her form. "Business as usual," he said quietly. He gently ran the back of his fingers across her cool, pink cheek, memorizing the feel, before he, too, turned away. There was nothing more he could do for her.

:::

Every fiber of Relena's being vibrated with anger and fear as she marched to the car. Her thoughts were unfocussed and chaotic, until she'd reached the Capital building. There was an emergency, and she had to tend to it.

When Relena entered the Congressional Hall, a silence fell on the crowd. Hundreds of Senators and Ambassadors were standing at their seats, faces red with fury as they argued fault and rhetoric around the violent massacre. As the eyes turned on her, Relena realized the role she was about to play, and no amount of courage seemed enough to prepare her.

"Miss Relena," Ambassador Monet spat with venom in his tone.

Quatre stood between Monet and the former princess, but her soft hand on his should released him from his unspoken vow.

"I hope we didn't trouble your child rearing for this?" He bit out, sarcastically.

Relena held her head high.

Her eyes fell to the Foreign Minister, but he turn away.

Taking a breath, she faced her accuser. "If you're looking for somewhere to place your blame—"

"Blame?" He shouted, cutting her off. "This is not about _blame_, Vice Foreign Minister. Those thousands of men, women and children care nothing for who we _blame_."

She answered without pause. "Then perhaps we should—"

"Perhaps we should _what_? Offer our condolences? Bring these _terrorists_ to justice? What peace offering does the lady suggest?"

Relena blinked. "There is nothing we can offer to bring back the lives lost—"

"On _that_ we can agree, my dear. There is nothing that can replace the people we've lost. Perhaps if we could turn back the clock, however, the Vice Foreign Minister might see to her _duties_, as the people asked, instead of the bastard child."

"Ambassador!" Quatre shouted, standing to his feet. "We agreed not to cast blame."

"Not _blame_, my dear Winner," Monet sparred. "I'm merely contemplated ways that we could have _prevented_ this tragedy."

"Call it what you will! I will not argue the game of Terms, Monet. You cannot _blame_ this on Relena."

"It seems to me that you're growing overly emotional about your dear princess, Representative." Monet turned to address the gathering. "Perhaps the Congress would see fit to allow the Honorary Representative Winner to take a recess, while we discuss the matter?"

Relena looked over the Congress. The vast majority stiffened, looking away from the dramatic scene at the center of the room. A few representatives who were known to be in Monet's pocket nodded in approval, effectively sealing his cowardly request. Quatre's eyes were deeply apologetic as he passed her to leave. Relena was alone; a sheep among wolves.

"_If_ the Vice Foreign Minister had taken her responsibilities _seriously_, this never would have happened!" Monet announced, pacing before her. "Perhaps the time has come to ask our dear lady to step down—at least until she has her _affairs_ in order."

As the group began to murmur amongst themselves for a decision, Relena addressed them.

"That won't be necessary," she heard herself say.

The room fell quiet, again, all eyes on her.

"Clearly I have disappointed my brothers and sisters of the Nation, as well as my constituents. I cannot provide the services due my office, and I accept your judgment as such; but know that I leave this position of my own volition. I shall present the Earth Sphere Unified Nation and the Public with my official resignation as soon as the Nation sees fit."

The room was so still, you could hear a pin drop. Relena stepped up to Monet before she turned to leave. "A lady," she whispered. "Knows when she is no longer welcomed."

He answered her with a haughty smiled, and she turned her back and marched, with proud stature, from the room.

:::

When Relena had entered the hall, Quatre was gone. The disappointment of being cast out by her peers and finding no welcoming arms waiting in the wings was adding insult to injury.

_Perhaps,_ she thought. _If I get home soon enough, he won't have left._

Relena sprinted to the car, urging the driver to rush, but when she entered the house, she found no one, save Pagan, waiting there, either. Her servant's voice sounded distant as he informed her of the child's nap. She nodded, passively and stepped into her room.

There was no telling how long she lay in her bed sobbing, but the tidal waves of anguish were more real than the material world around her.

There was no denying her mistakes. Those people were dead because she wouldn't go to them.

There was no solving it. They were gone. And she—she was fired.

_Fired_.

Isn't that what she'd wanted? To get away from these thankless monsters? To leave the untamable world of politics and tend to her child. And tend to her wounds?

_Fired._

What would they say? Her friends who'd given so much to get her to where she was? Her brother, who'd watched over her from afar, ever hoping that _she_ would carry on the Peacecraft mission and restore peace to the Earth Sphere.

All the work she'd done—all the work the Gundam pilots had done—would be for nothing, now. She could not longer watch over their hard earned prize. She could no longer protect the peace she had been charged with, with such conviction.

She would never forget the way Heero had looked at her, that day. How he'd trusted her. How he'd loved her. And now she would fail him, again.

Because she was weak.

Now she couldn't even arouse the man. She was an empty shell of a woman—and an ugly one at that. She'd never, again, be the beautiful virgin he'd come to love. She was never even able to offer him her innocence as she'd secretly wished through so many lonely nights.

Because she was weak. So weak.

_It's simple sex, Relena,_ she thought audibly, past the sound of her own muffled wails. _He pushes himself into you for his release—just as Heero does. That's what you were made for. Why would this be any different? _

_Come on, child,_ the voice scolded harshly. _You're being silly. It didn't hurt that much. It couldn't have. It's what you were created to do. You know you wanted it. You still do. Call them nightmares, but you know they're fantasies. _

_That's all your for, Relena. To please men. It's all you were worth in the first place. Giving yourself to that stranger was not wrong. It was where you belonged._

"NOOOOO," she screamed into her pillow, pounding her fists into the stuffing.

The taunting would not stop, no matter how hard she screamed.

Relena tried to calm herself, pulling from the pillows and taking deep, gasping breaths.

_Water,_ she thought in desperation. _Cool water._

Relena tumbled from the bed, tripping through her own tears until she stood in front of the sink. Unable to see through the cloud of salty pain, she reached blindly to turn the cold faucet. Her fingers shook as the liquid pooled in her hands. Leaning down she splashed it over her face, again and again. It felt soothing on her flushed skin. For a moment, she could breathe, again.

When she realized she could see, Relena leaned on her arms facing the mirror. The stillness in the room only lasted a moment, before the storm within her belly began to heat, again, growing outward and overrunning her with tears.

The only thing she hated more than the face she saw in the mirror was when she saw it breaking down in self pity. It was disgusting. _Disgusting_.

Relena lashed out in anger, slamming her knuckles repeatedly against the glass. She bit down on her lip to muffle her cry of fury. "I HATE YOU!" She finally screamed, slamming her open palm against the visage.

Overcome with self destructive rage, she ripped at her hair, disappointed in the minimal amount of damage she could do the guilty party.

Looking for something she could destroy, Relena swept her arms across the countertop, sending bottles, vials and brushes flying in every direction. Blindly, she started grabbing objects and pounding her fists on the sink. She felt her wrist impact the marble, but did not stop until the height of her emotion dropped away.

It was then that she saw the blood, puddle under her right fist. It was then that she opened her hand to reveal a razor head that she'd smashed to bits.

Her eyes darkened as the strait blade shimmered in her open palm.

:::

"Yes," Wufei said. "Releasing Jeremy was no problem. We'll simply organize watches to keep—eye—"

Quatre shook his head, trying to focus, but chaotic emotion flooded his mind. Damned empathy was getting in the way of the task at hand, again, but he knew that if he didn't allow it a channel, there'd be a hell of a migraine awaiting him by the end of the day—and he still wouldn't have accomplished anything. He quietly excused himself, turning to leave.

As he brushed past Heero, he felt a powerful connection, clearly identifying the person—the woman—who was in desperate need of his attention. Considering the horrific events of the day, there was no surprise there, but he needed a moment to channel in on _why_ she was calling him.

In the hall, he took a deep breath, he closed his eyes, feeling her aura. He could see her, lying on the ground in tears. He frowned. He just had to see her thoughts—

Something dark and frightening overwhelmed him, jerking him from his meditation. He gasped, like he'd finally breached the surface, after nearly drowning in an ocean of pain.

"Relena," he choked.

Giving warning to no one, Quatre fled from Preventer. He had to get to Relena.

Now.

:::

Pounding on Relena's bedroom door, there was no answer. Quatre wrestled with the handle, ignoring the screaming baby that Pagan was trying to console. Finally, he took a step back, using his full force to kicked the door in at the latch.

Quatre flew into the bathroom, and found Relena on the floor, blood smearing her pale arms and face—unconscious.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: It's been an especially emotional day on this end and I was in desperate need of a pick-me-up; so, upon much thought and discussion with the hubs, I've decided to upload this chapter a couple days early. Now, it's been suggested to do uploads on Sundays, and looking at the traffic graphs, (which AMAZED me, btw...Thank you, guys) I can see why, but honestly...I want to spread some smiles. (In and angsty-story kind of way...but still smiles.) Now, you guys aren't going to believe this, but I am two...count them: TWO...chapters from the end. Yup. We're almost there. I hope you're really enjoying the reads, and I hope you enjoy everything else I have in store for you, in this story and others. (What?! More? Yeah...we're due for a love triangle, aren't we?) Please, please, PLEASE enjoy!

R&R

-Bear

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Relena slowly blinked to life, very surprised to find herself staring into the brightest, most compassionate blue eyes.

"Hey, sweetie," the other blonde answered cheerfully. "Glad to see you coming back around."

"Wh—what happened?" Relena whispered as she slowly sat up.

"Quatre found you like this," Sally said. "Dehydration and exhaustion." She paused, studying Relena. Her voice took on a serious, yet soft tone. "I know you're going through a lot, but you need to take better care of yourself. Keep in mind that you are nursing and you have the baby to think of, on top of your own health."

Relena looked down at the bandages on her hand and the blood on the floor.

"No major damage there," Sally commented. "You seem to have accidentally cut yourself in a fit of rage."

Relena's eyes showed a frightened openness that Sally was unused to.

Sally took Relena's hand securely in her own. "It's alright, dear. We all have our moments."

Relena swallowed, looking away. "But—I've been thinking things—" Her voice trailed off.

"Are you going to—?"

Relena shook her head, offering a weak "No," in reply.

"I understand," Sally reassured her. "I'll get you a supplement to calm you, and it may help you to sort your feelings more clearly. Have you been seeing Dr. Breslin, like you'd promised?"

Relena hesitated. "I guess I—"

After several seconds of silence, Sally nodded. "I can't force you," she said. "But as your friend, I'm begging you. I know it's hard, but you should keep going."

Relena shook her head. "No," she mumbled under her breath. "You _don't_ know."

:::

Relena was asleep when Heero came in. She had just been napping, but she could hear him moving in the room.

A sense of terror filled her dream as she felt his eyes on her, observing every detail. She wanted to hide her bandaged hand, but her exhaustion prevented her from moving or waking. She could tell how gently he was touching her, as his fingers trailed up her arm, carefully squeezing her shoulder. Sharp pain rushed from every millimeter of contact. His touch was hurting her, but there was nothing she could do to stop him. It was torture until she could either wake for fall into a deeper sleep.

Finally, he retreated, disappearing into the bathroom. The terror increased, until the next stage of slumber claimed her.

:::

Heero flicked the lights when he walked into the master bath. He froze, looking around. The place was spotless, but rearranged. The room smelled of antibacterial cleaning products. His eyes drifted from the bath tub to the counters, noting that he did not see his razor or hers. The mouthwash was missing. Where did she—?

He opened the medicine cabinet. All he found was a pair of tweezers and a tube of toothpaste.

With a sense of urgency, he closed the mirrored door and squatted to check under the sink.

Nothing. Not even the window cleaner.

Suddenly rushed with a million inexplicable emotions, he silently and quickly stalked from the room, neglecting the bathroom door and light as he closed Relena and the mystery behind him.

He rounded the corner into the library, and there sat Quatre, as expected.

"Did she hurt herself?!" He growled without prelude.

Quatre sighed, refilling his scotch and setting out a second crystal glass. "Not intentionally," he answered softly, as he poured the second. He lifted the glass toward Heero, silently inviting the conversation.

Heero took a deep breath to calm himself, accepting the offering and finding a place on the sofa. He silently sipped the shot until it was empty, unsure what to really say. "You cleaned out my bathroom?"

"Yeah," Quatre whispered. "I just wanted to be safe."

"Does she know?"

Quatre looked into the liquid as he swirled it in the glass. "She knows that I'm concerned, but I don't know if she's seen the bathroom. She fell asleep while I was cleaning."

Heero looked up, his faced marred in anxiety. "Cleaning—?"

"Heero," Quatre said softly, hesitating. "Relena's had a rough day. She got hurt—but I'm sure it was an accident."

"Hurt?"

"She broke some things," he said. The room was thick, but they both understood her demons. "When I got here, she had fainted."

"Huh?" Heero's eyebrows knit with even deeper concern.

"It's alright," Quatre soothed. "Sally came. She said Relena's just dehydrated and exhausted, but to keep an eye on her."

Heero slowly dropped his head, running through the details in his mind. "I should have been here."

"Heero?"

The brunet looked up at him.

"There's something else," Quatre said.

The tension began to rise.

"Relena was home early because—with what happened on L3—Relena was relieved of her position, today."

Heero blinked.

"Relena's no longer the Vice Foreign Minister."

"But—they can't—"

"They _can_, Heero. They did. Relena's been relieved of duty."

"But it's not her fault."

"I know. I told them that. I tried, Heero. They just wouldn't—"

"It's fine," Heero suddenly hissed, turning away. "She'll know what to do. She—she'll be fine."

"But—"

"She'll be fine. She's strong. She'll be fine." Heero tried to sound certain, but with each repetition, he felt his faith in her resilience failing.

:::

Relena could feel his eyes on her, again. She hadn't opened her eyes, but she could sense the night around her. There would be no light to greet her when she looked.

Slowly, she fluttered to life. Heero stood with his back to the window, the full moon bright over his shoulder. She offered him a weak smile, reaching out to bid him closer. His midnight eyes lingered on her delicate hand for several seconds, before he pushed from the wall and approached. He caressed her fingers, bringing her knuckles to his lips.

"Heero," she whispered. She had missed him.

Heero pressed the back of her hand up, against his cheek bone. His stubble scratched the delicate skin, but his warmth comforted her. "How was your nap?" His voice had a deeply masculine texture, making her feel protected and loved.

"Good," she mumbled, looking up at him. "Long."

The longer she looked into his eyes, the more she saw it. In the darkness of his Prussian orbs, there was a lingering sadness.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

He waited characteristically before he answered. "Yes," he said, climbing over her body. "Of course."

Relena felt unsettled by the needless lie, but accepted the calming effect of his embrace behind her. She relaxed into him, allowing his breath to sooth her, until his proximity left her with whispers of intrigue.

"Heero," she moaned, wiggling suggestively closer.

Relena's lover stiffened, as though he had to decide. Another adjustment in her hips, arching her tail against him, seemed to win him over. He nuzzled into her hair, tickling her scalp with his nose. Tiny, affection kisses made their way down, from the back of her ear the base of her neck, sending chills down her spine.

Relena lolled her head back, toward his shoulder, rolling her body slightly onto his. Lifting her arms to run her fingers through his hair, she gave his hands access to her sides and front.

Powerful hands, which she well knew could kill in seconds, touched her delicately, slowly trailing from her hips to her underarms, as he memorized the soft slopes of her side. His long fingers took their time trekking up and down the wash boarding of her ribs, the tips only grazing the sides of her breast.

A tongue darted out, from behind her, softly pulling her earlobe into the warmth of his mouth, as he pressed her tender skin against his teeth, enjoying the porcelain flesh. "Relena," he whispered over the wet pressure point, causing her body to respond with enthusiasm.

Relena heard herself whimper as his hands began to explore her form further. Her sharp breaths barely anchored her to the earth, through waves of erotic emotion. Within minutes, she was bucking against him from below, begging under her breath.

There was no telling, really, when it started, but as the clothes were pulled away from their bodies she could feel the detachment pulling at her. She had suffered a few migraines in her life, and the auras were the most normal thing she could compare these out-of-body experiences to, but it seemed even harder, still, to fight. She battled to keep her mind and body together in the moment, but his most intimate touches felt volatile. By the time he settled into place, whispering comforting affirmations, her soul had separated from her body completely. She could almost watch as it continued.

Relena's whimpers became small hums of feigned approval as she encouraged him. One might think she was making herself a martyr or that it was a matter of pride, but truly, she loved him, and it seemed wrong to rip this moment away from him, so soon after it began. Each touch was irritating; the heat of his frame was suffocating. She ground her teeth with every move, wishing he would handle things faster. The problem was that Heero sincerely wanted her to enjoy herself, and she hadn't the heart to tell him the truth. The biggest challenge, though, was the act. For his sake, she just wanted him to believe that she was fully involved. To her relief a simple flutter or two of the eyes seemed to convince him. She was in the clear.

Her emotional defenses crumbled, again, when it was over. Relena really had missed his presence. When he collapsed, she was relieved, not only that the charade had ended, but that she had him in her arms. There are few things more precious with strong men than these moments, when their guards are completely down. Relena clung to his damp body, silently praying the seconds would stretch on.

A smile played at her lips when he began planting kisses on her face, again. She let out a relieved giggle. "Hey," she whispered, much more awake than she had been when she'd first greeted him.

"Hey," he echoed, grinning. Heero groaned as he fell back onto his back, pulling her against his chest. "I love you" he assured her, brushing her hair from her face.

"I love you, too," she responded.

Silence engulfed them as Relena drifted into thought. After such a long and painful day, Relena fought to quiet her mind, but it was to no avail.

"Are _you_ alright?" Heero finally asked.

Relena turned to look up, into his eyes. She opened her mouth to answer him, but shut it when she couldn't find any words. Suddenly, like a tidal wave, the shock and pain came back, crushing her under with indescribable feelings. Relena hiccupped as she gave in to the mourning.

"Heero," she sobbed. "They— I—I tried—" She curled into a fetal position, becoming inconsolable in his arms.

Heero had nothing he could say, so he did the only thing he knew to do. Silently, he held his hand on her back, reassuring her.

His quiet support was all he could offer, but it was the perfect response.


	20. Chapter 20

And the moment you've all been waiting for...

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing<strong>

Heero and Zechs had been getting along so well, it was a surprise to Wufei to hear Zechs lecturing the younger man when he approached to bring them an update.

"—Do you realize what this means for her?! For her career?"

Heero simply grunted.

"You need to talk to her."

Silence.

"Heero, Relena's got to fight this. She doesn't deserve to be scapegoated for this situation. It's in no way her fault—"

"What exactly do you expect me to do?" The Perfect soldier snapped.

"Talk to her."

"Talk to her about what?! Being relieved of duty was _not_ Relena's choice, and there's nothing she can do to reverse the decision."

Wufei leaned against the doorframe, observing the conversation with interest. Both men's eyes flickered his way momentarily, but neither truly acknowledged his presence.

"Monet is being abusive of a fluke situation," the brother argued.

"I don't think 'fluke' is the right word for that many people being killed."

"But it's not Relena's fault!"

"Obviously." Heero's tone was saturated in irritation.

"You and I both know that Monet's got plenty of black spots on his record—certainly more grey than Relena's being accused of."

"Are you suggesting your sister blackmail Ambassador Monet?!"

"Not exactly, but—"

"Mudslinging?"

Zechs looked away with a grimace.

"She's above that."

"I know," the blond conceded.

There were several seconds of silence as the two avoided each other's stares.

"Zechs," Heero said quietly. "What if this was really best, for now?"

"What?"

"What if she needs the time—the rest?"

The Lightening Count looked shocked and indignant.

"I mean, _if_ she takes some time, will you push her?"

Puzzlement flickered across Zechs's face, followed by a sigh. He opened his mouth to answer, but the thought was disturbed by a bleep from the doorway.

Wufei looked down at his com, straightening his posture. His eyes were dead serious when he looked back up at his comrades. "It's time," he said, turning to leave.

Heero and Zechs followed hastily.

:::

"I shouldn't be here," Jeremy groaned as he paced the floor the nth time. His shoes were beginning to wear a whole in the dingy, green carpet. After his surprising release for good behavior, he'd been jumpy and on edge. He wasn't eligible, which meant something was up.

"Come on," a second man answered, offering the guest a beer with the same hand he was simultaneously balancing a cigarette in.

"You don't understand, Nikolai," he said, gesturing denial as he pressed the subject. Jeremy looked around the room, studying the empty walls and doorways. The homely apartment was decorated with old, filthy and cracking wall paper. By the looks of things, if his buddy hadn't lived here for quite some time, the landlord clearly had someone very much like him living in the same place, before. "_This_ is what they want. They're going to follow me. They're going to find you. It's a trap."

Papandreou offered a crooked grin, allowing his yellow teethe to peek through. "You're paranoid. What are they going to do? They have no evidence."

"They have the child."

"And a harlot's _word_. It could just have easily have been consensual."

Jeremy gave his less than attractive mate a cynical look over, before continuing. "The people would take Relena's account over yours!"

"She's a _politician_."

Jeremy shook his head. "You don't understand, Nikolai. These men—the ones who are hunting you—they are not to be trifled with. You need to leave town."

"That's foolish, old friend," Papandreou commented as he smothered the cherry of his cigarette in a heavy, glass ashtray. "If they're hunting me, as you say, then moving around will leave a trail. They haven't found me, yet. I'm better to stay put."

"Unless they follow me here," Jeremy commented, unable to look away from the front door.

Papandreou sniggered. "If they follow you here, we take the back exit."

"The fire escape? They'll think of that. They'll be waiting for us at the bottom."

Papandreou shook his head. "There's more than one way to elude a copper."

"They're not 'cops'," Jeremy mumbled.

Nikolai opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a heavy pounding on the door.

"PREVENTER. OPEN UP," Wufei shouted to announce the group.

Jeremy started shaking in his position, looking to his old cellmate.

"Looks like you were followed, after all," Nikolai said nonchalantly as he stood to his feet. "Relax. Make for the bedroom window."

Jeremy wasted no time moving toward the exit as Wufei began another loud, warning knock.

"We can't go down," he said, again, as he pulled through the opening.

"I heard you the first time," Papandreou answered, following close behind. "So we go _up_. It's less than three feet between this building and the one behind it. No problems."

"What if we fall?"

"_Three feet,_" he repeated, pushing the clean cut, attempted assassin toward the stairs.

The two climbed quickly and silently. Below, Jeremy could hear crashing sounds as Wufei broke down the front door of the apartment, followed by a muffled shouting.

"They're going back down," Nikolai said from behind, trying to encourage his partner.

Jeremy continued to hesitate, trying to get a glimpse of the alley below. The bad lighting of the overcast day seemed to make visibility to the ground that much harder, though his inability to focus was probably amplified by the rushing of his heart in the panic of the hunt. He knew they were waiting down there for him, but he couldn't assure himself that they _wouldn't_ know to check the other buildings. Surely the Gundam Pilots would be smarter than that. Wouldn't they?

"Keep moving," Papandreou prodded.

Jeremy nodded, silently, moving forward. "Nikolai," he urged. "There's something I haven't told you. It's about Relena's personal guard." Each step seemed harder to take as his legs grew weary in the climb. Prison hadn't prepared him for this sort of a race. "The men hunting you. They're not _just_ Preventers." He rounded the last corner, about to step foot on the roof, as he came to the climax of his warning. "They're—"

Jeremy's baby blue eyes clashed with a familiar, dark glare, silencing him completely. His entire body became instantly rigid, nearly knocked to the ground as his old cellmate ran into him from behind.

"What are you doing?" Papandreou shouted as he studied his petrified friend.

His eyes drifted ahead, where a Japanese man he'd never seen before was waiting, as though he'd been expecting them. The unfamiliar midnight eyes flickered from Jeremy to Nikolai and back. Jeremy took a blind step backward, into Papandreou when the man began to approach them. What Nikolai found most striking was how the man presented himself with unquestioning dominance, in spite of his age and stature. Wearing a black tee shirt and jeans, he seemed almost puny for the reaction he incited in Nikolai's old friend.

"Who are you?" Papandreou demanded, while simultaneously being pushed back, down the stairs by Jeremy.

"Heero Yuy. Relena's personal guard."

"That's a joke," Nikolai scoffed, without missing a beat.

Jeremy turned his terror filled eyes onto the challenger. He shook his head, trying to warn the man.

"Seriously?" Papandreou asked Jeremy. "You said they weren't just Preventers, but I see that he's not _even_ a preventer. No uniform."

"Run," Jeremy whispered in a low panic.

"And besides," Nikolai continued loudly. "If her majesty has a guard, then tell me this. Where were you a year ago, Mr. Yuy?"

Heero tensed and something Jeremy was quite unfamiliar with flashed through his eyes. It sent a chill through the convict's entire being.

"Nikolai," Jeremy pleaded, turning and pushing his accomplice further down the stairs. "Run."

"No," Papandreou argued, as he stumbled unwillingly back down another flight. "This scrawny little thing doesn't scare me. I'll be glad to take him." He turned his attention on Heero. "Boy, I've killed men bigger than you. More of them than you'd like to imagine."

"Nikolai," Jeremy hissed, sensing Heero following close behind. "He's not just a Preventer. He's not just her guard."

"What? He's sleeping with her, too, is he?"

"Stop it!" Jeremy ordered. "He's dangerous, Nikolai. You don't know what you're getting into."

"He doesn't scare me, Jeremy. And he _shouldn't_ scare you."

"Damnit, Nikolai!" Jeremy shouted, shoving his friend back, again. "He's a Gundam Pilot."

Nikolai caught his weight, steadying himself from the small fall. "Gundam?" He asked, nearly breathlessly.

"Run," Jeremy growled a final time, pushing past Nikolai, so he could back down from behind his cellmate.

Shaking his head, Papandreou stood tall, looking Heero right in the eye. "So this is the company the lady likes to keep? A pacifist and world renowned killer. Ironic."

Heero's stone cold expression caused panic to bubble up from deep inside the heartless criminal.

"No," Nikolai said in defiance. "I will not cower before you."

Heero nodded, continuing toward them as Jeremy pulled at Nikolai to drag him into the retreat.

"Nikolai Papandreou, is it?" Heero asked in a deadly tone.

Nikolai grinned.

"I suppose I should be thanking you," Heero commented, continuing forward to corner the pair.

"Why's that?" Nikolai sneered.

"Your crime—that was cold—but you seem to have left something behind."

Nikolai raised one eyebrow.

"And now he's mine."

Papandreou spit blindly over the railing. "Do you want that, too?" He taunted.

Heero grew serious. "Aside from Benjamin, though—you'll leave nothing good to this world when this is over."

Jeremy had stopped looking behind him as he pulled Nikolai along. They were nearly to the street below. He could almost feel the cool concrete under his feet. His mind was bustling with plans of escape, as he mapped the alley in his mind.

"Will you kill me Gundam pilot?"

"No," Jeremy cut in. "You promised Relena. She told me." He took another step back, praying Heero would honor his word. "You said you wouldn't kill again."

The final flight was set to pull itself from the ground to prevent break-ins, but as soon as Jeremy's weight was on it, the stairs began lowering beneath him. They were home free.

"No," Heero answered, stopping just short of the stairs.

Jeremy paused on the last step, surprised at the response. "No?" He questioned. What he wanted to hear was more than he had hoped for.

"Hey," a deep voice called from behind.

Jeremy turned quickly, stumbling onto the solid ground as he looked up at a burly man he'd never seen before.

The man, in common street clothes, seemed to be standing in the position of leader of a large group of civilians who were blocking off the street. "Aren't you Jeremy Rivera?" He asked.

Jeremy swallowed, suddenly wondering why they knew his name.

"Yeah," another man commented. "That's him, right where Duo said we'd find him. And that's his accomplice; Nikolai Papandreou."

The leader took a step forward, towering over Jeremy. "You tried to assassinate the Queen."

"Oh," Jeremy practically squeaked.

"We owe her everything," one of the men called out. "She ended the war. She gave us our lives back."

"And she's protecting the Gundam Pilots," said another.

"Long live the Gundam Pilots."

"Long live the Queen."

Nikolai, who had turned to look at the scene, suddenly felt the stairs beneath him jolt, throwing him off balance. Before he had time to react, he was in flight, crashing to the ground below. He looked back to see if Heero had caused the tremor intentionally, but the crowd swarmed between them, cutting off his visual of the Gundam Pilot.


End file.
